Early on in marriage, Mark and I were living in California, each earning $10 an hour, and still committed to maintaining the rhythm of Tuesday night date nights that we implemented only a few weeks into our dating relationship.
Rewind to 2008: We had been close friends and neighbors for 9 months when Mark asked me out, so our first date felt more like date number 20. Without admitting it to each other at the time, we both knew on that second date that this was the person we were going to marry!
At the time, Mark was traveling corporately as a business consultant with IBM and I was pursuing a 3-year master’s degree in marriage and family therapy with a specialization in Christian sex therapy from Richmont Graduate University . . . and I was trying to complete it in two years. We were both involved in church and loved being with friends, so our calendars were already full. (I’m not complaining – it was a wonderful time! I just assume by listing what was on my plate, you would think of your own list and how your own life is probably full already too . . . The point is that we have to get proactive and take responsibility to choose how we spend our time). When he asked me for a third date, we could not find a time that synced up in our calendars.
Something needed to change.
We decided to protect Tuesday nights and declared that would be our standing date night. The very first Tuesday we penciled it in, dear friends we loved asked us to go on a double date with them. We wrestled with our answer, but then decided no . . . the double date could wait. We already had plans with one another.
You may think that is drastic and inflexible, but we knew this decision represented something greater. This decision would set the boundary in both our mindsets for all the other wonderful invitations that would come on Tuesdays in the future. This was our small way to show “I choose you!”
Even when other plans sound appealing, we honored the date night.
This exclusivity is one small way we continue to feel bonded to one another.
Over the years we did grow more flexible with the day of the week (often due to childcare availability). As long as we have one date night in the calendar week, it does not have to be Tuesdays. However, that remains our favorite night and our first choice! It feels indulgent to get a bonus night so shortly after a weekend, and it fills us up to face the rest of the week with joy.
So, back to California…
We were strapped for finances and still wanted to date, it inspired us to become more creative with fun date ideas on a budget! For Valentine’s Day, we wanted to create a special memory. Many San Diego restaurants only offered expensive, fixed price menus on that night, and it was hard to find a deal. So, we pivoted and searched our apartment to see what we had on hand. We came across our fondue set we had received as a wedding gift. Bingo!
A new tradition was born.
For over a decade, we have made fondue at home on Valentine’s Day. Sometimes we dressed up and sometimes we enjoyed fondue in pajamas. We have changed up the menu and enjoyed this tradition in various states and settings. We have moved 9 times in marriage, but this tradition has remained the same.
I will be specific in my description in case you want to replicate our tradition! Otherwise, just use this as a starting point to create your own fondue creations:
- Menu: We have always stuck to cheese and chocolate with plenty of options to dip! (I never promised you this was our healthiest meal, so please don’t judge me! However, this is also an easy way to happily eat lots of vegetables!)
- Course 1: We use fontina as our melting cheese and then add one other cheese we enjoy, to give it flavor, such as an aged gouda or sharp white cheddar. We never use exact measurements. We simply add the cheese, pour in a little beer, heat, and stir. To thicken, we add more cheese and to thin out, we add more beer. I don’t know how to explain the exact science, but basically the alcohol evaporates in the heating process, so it’s not the same as drinking an actual beer. (You will see why this matters in tip number 2 below!)
- To dip in the cheese fondue: we have done carrots, sugar snap peas, french bread, pretzels, crackers, apples, and slices of meat.
- Course 2: After consuming the cheese portion, we (and by we, I mean Mark) clean the fondue pot and then add chocolate and some almond milk (you could use whatever is your preferred type of milk). We have tried chocolate melting bars from The Melting Pot, Ghiradelli Chocolate Chips, white chocolate chips, and a variety of other grocery store-bought melting chocolate. Currently, Ghiradelli is our favorite and most accessible option.
To dip in the chocolate fondue: we have done bananas, strawberries, brownie balls (just like it sounds, regular brownies rolled into a ball so they stay on the fondue stick), oreos (both golden and regular . . . you could try any of their options), marshmallows, and pretzels.
My personal favorites are apples and french bread in cheese and bananas and oreos in chocolate!
Decadent.
If you want to give it a try, here are a few other ideas:
- Invite friends. We enjoyed this Valentine’s tradition so much we wanted to utilize our fondue set more times throughout the year. One weekend, we invited another California couple to join us and they suggested to grill steak ahead of time and dip it in the cheese. YUM!
- Share this tradition with your children. We once made this meal for family night and it was an instant success! The kids all agree it is their favorite meal, so they now choose it for each of their birthdays. We also repeat it for other celebrations, such as the first day of school and Christmas decorating day
DISCLAIMER: Supervise children and only do this meal together when it is age-appropriate. You will need to supervise them to prevent burns.
- Come prepared with at least one intentional question to discuss. The beauty of this meal is that it is slow and conversational. Questions deepen our connection and lead to transformation. If you want to get to know each other better or enjoy each other more, try asking new questions! If you need a fresh list, join our email list to receive: 15 Questions to Ask on Your Next Date Night.
I looooove celebrations! I love any opportunity to gather people together and savor good food and conversation. It is such a reflection of the goodness of God . . . I’m so thankful He created us with an abundance of taste buds for enjoying food and so many delicious options to choose from, and best of all, creating people for us to enjoy this with. Not only does this remind us of His goodness, but it is an easy way to give our children a sensory experience to experience His goodness.
This is my hope for you this Valentine’s Day: that you would enjoy your own celebration with someone you love and in doing so, you would experience a sample of His goodness!
“Taste and see that the LORD is good;” Psalm 34:8 (NIV)
On a practical note, what menu items am I missing? I would LOVE to hear your ideas!
Happy Valentine’s Day to you! If you need more creative date night ideas, you can find them slipped into this episode: Thriving with Kids at Home During Quarantine with Amanda Leman.
With Love,
Laura
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