Fun Monthly and Yearly Marital Enrichment Habits

Last week, we got to talk through my favorite daily and weekly marital habits. These simple practices lay a great foundation for growing together in your marriage. If you missed that article, you can read it here. 

Now we get to transition to a broader perspective as we establish monthly and yearly habits to stay connected in marriage.

Planning the week is wonderful, but we also benefit from getting a bigger picture overview of what is coming at the beginning of each new month. 

This helps us identify patterns, such as certain weeks that are lacking margin, open weekends where we can reach out to gather friends together, or school breaks that make a day-trip or weekend getaway more accessible. 

When we are in the rhythm of doing this each month, it helps us proactively be intentional to fill our calendar with plans that match our values and priorities. 

This is one of my favorite habits! Have you listened to this Meyers-Briggs episode yet? 

I am an “N” which means I love the big picture and possibilities and ideas and dreams.

Strategically getting my thoughts beyond our day to day happenings, and vision casting from a 10,000 foot view energizes me for weeks to come! 

Andy Stanley says “vision breeds discipline” and our quarterly meeting provides vision that leads to the necessary discipline that is required each day to make that vision our reality. 

This is not drudgery; rather it is exciting and full of purpose and it leads to a more fruitful life, in our experience. For more thoughts on the concept of fruitfulness, check out Fruitful. 

During our quarterly, we assess these areas: Spiritual, Marriage, Family, Rhythms That are Working, Professional, Finances, Social, Physical, Intellectual, and House/Home.

We check in with each other to see which areas need more focus. This is also our opportunity to celebrate progress and make notes of what to try and repeat for these upcoming 90 days. 

We begin with prayer, followed by reading these verses aloud together to remind us of our overall reason for this time together:

John 15:2

He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

Proverbs 16:3

Commit your works to the LORD [submit and trust them to Him], And your plans will succeed [if you respond to His will and guidance]. (AMP)

Deuteronomy 5:32-33

So be careful to do what the Lord your God has commanded you; do not turn aside to the right or to the left. Walk in obedience to all that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess.

Without fail, every meeting has produced positive change in our lives! 

One meeting was the catalyst to begin The Savvy Sauce. Another meeting helped Mark focus on a huge work goal that he was then able to accomplish. During a different quarterly, we realized we needed to start investing in friendships by getting a sitter and going out more with adults, and yet another meeting brought forth financial clarity which helped us determine what our goals would be for the next three months and beyond. 

So much fruit of the Spirit comes from these meetings such as greater levels of love, joy, peace, and self-control. 

I recently emailed our subscribers about Rhythms and Why They Matter, which also referenced this quarterly practice. Sign up here for our email list if you don’t want to miss free encouragement and tips to arrive in your inbox approximately once a week!

Generally I don’t need an excuse to be around our children more. I deeply love them and I enjoy our time together.

However, I can get into trouble on the other side where I forget to take breaks to still enjoy things I did before I became a mom, such as soaking up adult conversation. This makes it even more important to put these systems in place to ensure I invest in ALL the Lord has called me to . . . not just in motherhood. 

Can you relate?

I guess I put out that disclaimer because this habit can be a little hard to convince myself to follow through and actually do. My husband is a huge encouragement here and now that we have tried it a few times, the payoff refuels my motivation to do it again the following year!

It can be a little tearful to say goodbye to the kids for an entire weekend, but it’s also a reminder they are in the Lord’s hands, regardless of whether or not they are in my presence. This verse also gives me comfort:

“For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;” Psalms 91:11 

I think Satan hates it when couples invest in their marriage. 

Getaways have the potential to refresh a couple and help them be more loving, patient, connected, and engaged with all their family members. Because this threatens to do good for the Kingdom of God, I believe it is very real that Satan tries to thwart plans or inflict fear and condemnation on the couple before they leave. 

To combat this on the front end, I have found it helpful to preload truth in my mind and engage in the spiritual battle by meditating on God’s word and reflecting on what He says and shows is true. 

With our children, I am encouraged knowing we can still be connected through our prayers. Also, I tell our girls that the only reason we are sad to say goodbye is because we love each other so much! That is really such a gift!

These getaways have looked different over time, Until last year, we often brought a nursing baby along with us on our getaway. We are now out of that season and our children’s grandparents willingly watch our daughters while we take a little time away.  (Thank you, Jesus! Grandparents are such a gift!)

Even when grandparents have been unavailable, we hired a sitter for the day. Again, the investment was WELL worth it! 

I say “investment” intentionally. 

I do not see this as money lost or simply money spent. Instead, this is a predetermined use of our resources when we gladly exchange cash for a more fulfilling relationship and priceless memories made! 

When you think back over your previous few years, what are your favorite memories? 

My guess is what stands out are the times you changed things up a bit! Maybe you tried a new restaurant or met a new friend? Did you travel somewhere you had never been before? 

Now consider: are you glad you spent the money required to do that? 

Our experience has been that it takes quite a bit of work and consideration of logistics to enjoy extended time away as a couple, and it is 100% worth it every time!!!

Dr. Matthew Turvey lays out fascinating benefits of getting time away as a couple in Prepare For, Enrich, or Save Your Marriage. 

The positive rewards are undeniable, both instantaneously, in the future, and for eternity!

I can’t wait to learn which habits you already apply or which ones from the list you are going to try!

Overall, I find all these rhythms to be enjoyable, but the two that make the biggest impact for us are examples from last week: daily connection and weekly date night.  

So if you want to start, I encourage you to start there!

As always, I want you to be equipped with plenty of podcast episodes where you can learn more! You can choose the one that interests you the most, or get through all of them by making a plan to listen to a new one every day or week! Here are some of my favorite podcast episodes on the topic of marriage:

50 Understanding Gender Differences in Marriage with Dr. Ted and Ang Bryant

85 5 Love Languages with Dr. Gary Chapman

111 Building Love Together in Blended Families

117 Romantic Love in Marriage with Dr. Willard Harvey

Patreon 16 Enjoy a Thriving Marriage with Dr. Matthew Turvey

For my favorite podcast episodes on the topic of sexual intimacy in marriage, check out this article.

So, which habit do you want to try this month? 

I hope you write it down, pencil it in, do the prep work, and then let me know when you give it a try!

My hunch is you will like it so much, it will feed itself and become one of your new favorite rhythms.

Make sure you let me know how it goes! I care about you AND your marriage!

Sincerely,

Laura