112. Stewardship as the Daughter of Chick-fil-A Founders with Trudy Cathy White
112. Stewardship as the Daughter of Chick-fil-A Founders with Trudy Cathy White
**Transcription Below**
Acts 20:35(b) NIV “remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive,’"
Trudy Cathy White is a native Georgian and the only daughter of Jeannette and S. Truett Cathy, the founder of Chick-fil-A, Inc. Trudy has held various roles within Chick-fil-A, including that of a restaurant operator, and she and her husband, John, served as missionaries in Brazil and later they co-founded Lifeshape and Impact 360 Institute. She is a speaker, author, dedicated wife, mother of four, and grandmother of 15.
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Books by Trudy Cathy White:
A Quiet Strength: The Life and Legacy of Jeannette M. Cathy
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Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
**Transcription**
[00:00:00] <music>
Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
[00:00:18] <music>
Laura Dugger: Samaritan Ministries offers a biblical solution to healthcare, connecting you to other Christians who will support you spiritually and financially when you experience a medical need. Learn more at SamaritanMinistries.org.
Trudy Cathy White is an incredible woman, and I'm excited for this conversation as she's going to share stories and little snippets of wise advice as we reflect on the life of her parents who founded Chick-fil-A. But we are going to especially focus on her mom, Jeannette Cathy, and her contribution to the world.
Trudy is a gifted author, and her most recent book is titled A Quiet Strength: The Life and Legacy of Jeannette M. Cathy.
Here's our chat.
Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Trudy.
Trudy Cathy White: Thank you. It's an honor to be here with you today, Laura. [00:01:17]
Laura Dugger: Well, let's just start here. Will you first tell us a bit more about yourself?
Trudy Cathy White: Certainly. I am the only girl in my family. I have two older brothers, married now with four grown children, and 15 grandchildren, if you can imagine. The Lord has taken me from living in the States to being a missionary in Brazil with our family. Two of our youngest children were born there.
I am a person who is passionate about people. I love investing in relationships. And really honored to have this time with you today here.
Laura Dugger: Well, I feel the same way. I personally believe that heroes are so important because they give us real-life examples of imperfect people who still have these high standards that inspire us to grow. And I think it's obvious that your mom is one of your heroes. So will you share more of her story in hopes that we can catch a glimpse of her powerful contribution to the world? [00:02:16]
Trudy Cathy White: Yeah, most definitely. You know, a lot of people know about my dad, Truett Cathy. He's the founder of Chick-fil-A. But my mom, Jeannette Cathy, is a person that very few people had a chance to know. The reason I've written the book, A Quiet Strength, is because I want people to know her story.
Here's something about her. She was raised by a single mom. She was an only child. Her earthly father walked down on her when she was just a baby in arms. So she actually never, ever met her earthly father. But when she was about five years old, a friend introduced her to her heavenly Father and introduced her to some scripture that says, If you will believe and receive, you can become a child of God.
My mother was just elated to know that she actually could have a father, and her father would be her perfect father for the rest of her life. So if she were doing this interview today with you, Laura, she would say, don't feel sorry for me because I've had a perfect Father my whole life. And that just ignited her walk with the Lord and her intimacy that she learned scripture. [00:03:21] She had a passion for wanting to know God's word, to memorize it.
I just so looked up to her because she just dedicated her life to being a follower of Christ. She was a gifted dancer. She loved to sing. She was a great vocalist. She learned to play the trumpet. When she was 65 years of age, she decided she'd love to paint. And so she went and bought some canvas and oils. She's a self-taught artist at the age of 65.
I like to remind people that when she was 80, she got her first computer. I think she was almost 90 years old when she decided everybody was using these things called iPhones, and she had a flip phone, and she decided she wanted to get her iPhone and learn how to use it. So she was a lifelong learner.
So as a person that I looked up to, I realized that, man, she has taught me an awful lot just by the way she's lived her life.
Laura Dugger: Oh, certainly. And I just appreciate you sharing and even elaborating on all of these stories in your book. [00:04:21] I found it to be an incredible book that was easy to read and very inspiring. But I noticed through reading your book that you do come from a line of faithful women who stepped up to care for their families. And sometimes they even shouldered the responsibility entirely. So how has that impacted you?
Trudy Cathy White: I think what I saw in my mother's life was this kind of can-do attitude, so to speak. She would often tell me or my father or any of our family members when we were disappointed or discouraged about something. She would say, "You know, you can get through this with God or you can do this with God."
And I just so appreciated that kind of outlook to life. She always was seeing the positive side of things, even though life wasn't always easy for her. She had her own share of challenges. We grew up south of Atlanta in a small farm, really, really in the country. She couldn't get a lot of help to take care of things around the house. [00:05:24] She would learn how to fix things herself just because she couldn't get anybody else to do it. She just approached life with such a positive attitude.
I remember for myself when we were living in Brazil, we had to learn to speak Portuguese, which is not an easy language. As an adult, it's hard to learn any other language anyway if you've never tried it before. But I remember specifically a situation where I was done. I just felt like I could not learn this language. I was very angry with God for the fact that he took us to another country, I was struggling really hard with communicating with people. And I just said, "Lord, I can't do this anymore."
And I paused. I didn't hear an audible voice, but I knew that God was speaking to me. And what He told me at that moment was, "Trudy, you are right where I want you to be. I want you to realize that you don't live your life on your own. You're going to have to depend on Me. And I'm glad you've got to feel like you can't do this because I can do this through you." [00:06:24]
It just took me back to my mother's attitude and realizing the fact that, you know, you can with God. The Bible says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So recognizing that my mother's strength came from her walk with the Lord and her can-do attitude about life really had a lot to do with that relationship with the Lord.
Laura Dugger: I love hearing that personal example. I think that's inspiring, especially as a parent, when I think probably so many of us just feel inadequate in this role. It sounds like you're just encouraging us, just turn toward your heavenly Father because we can do it through Him.
Trudy Cathy White: Exactly right.
Laura Dugger: Well, one example that you give of your mom's character comes from page 28, where you write, "College wasn't that unusual for women in the early 1940s, but seminary was a different matter. Her boldness in leaving home and heading to New Orleans all alone to study God's word and prepare for ministry service has always been a powerful encouragement to me." [00:07:27] So, Trudy, will you just say more about that?
Trudy Cathy White: You know, when you think about my mother's life, when she graduated from high school, she wanted so much to continue her education. She got her a full time job working in downtown Atlanta. But a group of ladies in her local church knew of her desire to go on to college and even to take some classes at seminary, what she really wanted to do. And they pulled their resources together to allow her to be able to go to school.
So a few years after high school graduation, she found herself going to college, taking classes, and then she was able to go to seminary and take some courses. She never completely finished her time, but... that was back in the 40s, early 40s and that's very unheard of for women to be at seminary in those times.
And I'll tell you, you know, my mom oftentimes reminded me that when she was at seminary, she just figured she probably would marry someone who was going into the ministry, probably somebody who was going to be a pastor of a church. [00:08:27] But she didn't, as we all know. She ended up marrying this man that invented what we know of today as Chick-fil-A, somebody that was in the restaurant business.
But it's very interesting because when I look at my mom and dad's life, I realize that my dad often said that he saw his work as his ministry. And when we serve others, whether it's food or whatever it is, you know, we are able to be a minister to other people that meet their needs.
So I went on to be a missionary. I don't think my mother was really surprised about that. Perhaps some of the things that she had dreamed that she might do someday actually came to fruition through my own life.
But later, after my mom had passed away, I was cleaning through their things, and I found a piece of paper where my mother had written down some things about me. And she said, "Trudy loves children. She may be a pediatrician or maybe a missionary somewhere."
That was pretty cool to find that piece of paper and realize that the power of influence that mother had had over my life. [00:09:28] I think she prayed an awful lot for me. And she always wanted her children to be obedient to God. So I'm thankful for her encouragement in that way.
Laura Dugger: Wow, that is a powerful story just to think of a mother's influence. And are there any other examples of choices that you've made due to her example with her boldness and her strong work ethic?
Trudy Cathy White: You know, I think that when I think about her boldness, I think she has instilled in me a sense of confidence. Not so much confidence in myself, but confidence in who made me.
When we were little growing up, my mother had this tradition. She would stand at the back door, and as we would head out to school, my brothers and I, she would say, "Now remember who you are and whose you are." And when she would speak that over us as teenagers, you know, I thought, oh, yeah, whatever, mother.
But as I got older, I realized that life wasn't about me, that my identity was not wrapped up in who I was related to or maybe even what I did or even what I had. [00:10:35] But my identity was wrapped up in my relationship with Christ and what He says about me and who I am.
So I think that mother transferred that sense of boldness and confidence into my life through just little things that she would say like that. But more than anything was through just the example of how she lived her life. Because, Laura, I like to remind parents that raising children, it's not an easy task by any means. It's a lot of hard work.
Oftentimes we get concerned because we kind of feel like our children just aren't listening to us. We feel like we say the same thing over and over and over to them. And we kind of wonder, are they ever going to get it, you know?
But I like to remind parents that actually don't be so concerned that your children aren't listening to you. But be a bit concerned that they're watching you all the time. Are you living out the kind of life you would like to see them live at some point in their life?
Now, my mom wasn't a perfect mother. I don't want anybody to think that. [00:11:34] But she certainly was intentional in how she lived her life in a way that set up a great role model for me and a great example for me, both as a person, as a married couple, and in how to raise a family.
Laura Dugger: That's a wonderful reminder and a challenge to each of us. And now a brief message from our sponsor.
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Laura Dugger: I think this is kind of a big question, so I'll try and provide a lot of context. I think that many people can relate to this topic of feeling torn between mothering and their vocational calling, if their calling requires them to take some time away from their children. [00:13:40] And I just remember reading that you always thought you would be a stay-at-home mom, but God kind of had a different idea.
So what did that wrestling look like as you left your young kids in others' care sometimes to go with your husband for these language development classes while you lived in Brazil?
Trudy Cathy White: I think any time that I felt I had to leave my children to go do something outside of the home, work-related or studying or whatever, I remember kind of being afraid to leave my children with other people. I didn't think they could do as good a job as I was doing. And I was somewhat fearful.
But I also remember when we were living in Brazil, there was a sweet little lady that came and watched my children while I spent my time in language school in the afternoon, and she didn't speak any English either. So that kind of compounded the fears because not only, you know, I couldn't communicate really well with her, and my children were little, and I didn't know how they were going to kind of communicate.
But you know what I found through the years is watching for how God affirms our steps and things that we're doing and how He just kind of... maybe you would call them like God winks. [00:14:49] He just lets you know, "Hey, I'm in the middle of this with you."
Because I remember spending some time with this lady who was caring for my children and helping her to know how to care for them. And then one particular afternoon, I wanted her to know I love to sing to my children when I'm around them. I just kind of broke out singing because I did not say that to her since she couldn't understand English. So I started singing Jesus loves me.
And I got about halfway through the song and she joined with me singing Jesus Loves Me. And we finished that song singing together. I was singing in English and she was singing in Portuguese. But through that singing together, I realized that she, too, was a believer. She was a follower of Christ. She had a beautiful smile that radiated from her after we finished singing that song.
And it was almost as if God was saying, "Trudy, I love you and I love this lady named [Cleoza?], and I'm going to help you. I'm going to make sure your children are taken care of."
So I would want to encourage parents who have to work maybe outside the home or do things that it's just so very important that you realize that when you ask God to be a part of even your little details and concerns of life, he will be. [00:15:58] He wants to be intricately involved in our lives.
I'll even say this, that we talk a lot about finding the right balance, the balance between your family and the balance between work. And I relate that more to, you know, if you're riding a bicycle, you have to kind of lean sometimes to the left and sometimes to the right to kind of keep that bicycle upright.
And I think when we're going through life, this is the way I have found that sometimes I have to lean into my family a little bit more because there are certain seasons where they need me more. There are other times when I can lean the other way a little bit more, in my work focus, with my staff, or with my responsibilities, whatever that is. And it's not like I just stay leaning one way or the other. It's just kind of this back and forth.
The most important thing is understanding your priorities. If you know what your priorities are, then you can get that balance in that really, really good.
Laura Dugger: I love that visual. I think that's much more realistic than a perfect balance, which is not achievable. [00:16:58] I like that word "to know your priorities". So kind of putting you on the spot, do you have some of your top priorities that you could share with us to make us start thinking of our own?
Trudy Cathy White: Yeah. You know, you can turn these as parties or even as values. I like to ask people this question. I say, "What matters to you most?" You know, sometimes if you ask yourself that, what matters to me the most? And I would say that they're really...
My husband and I have kind of over the years focused on five core values or five priorities in our life. One is our faith. It becomes the filter for all of our decision-making. The second is our family. We value family. We value time with our family. So we make that a priority.
Next I would say is integrity. That we are people of our word, that people can count on us when we say we're going to do things. The next two, the last two would be generosity. That we're generous with what we have. And last would be gratitude, that we are people who are grateful for things. [00:17:58]
So faith, family, integrity, gratitude, and generosity are the five. To me, I just try to make sure that I'm balancing those from time to time. Those are core to what's important to me. Everything else comes out of those five things.
Laura Dugger: Wow. And just to witness you and your greater family as leaders at Chick-fil-A, I just want to affirm, Trudy, you're living those out so well. I think we could have guessed those without even hearing it from you. So that's incredible that you're doing what you set out or intended to do.
Trudy Cathy White: I appreciate that.
Laura Dugger: When you and your husband came up with those five, what did that look like? Was that early on in marriage?
Trudy Cathy White: You know, we weren't challenged as young couples to really identify them and pin them. It really came through several years that we began to look back on experiences that we had and how we invest in our time and what was important to us. [00:18:59]
Honestly, Laura, when our children became young adults, they're married, we got together with them as newlyweds, well, somewhat newlyweds, and we gathered them together and we challenged them with this idea. Start now, early in your marriage, and define as a couple for yourselves what are going to be your values, what are going to be the things you're really going to focus and be intentional about.
They went way beyond what we had thought about. They not only worked hard at getting those and understanding what those would be, but then they, each one of them in their own unique way, either had a plaque printed or words put somewhere.
But you can walk in any one of their homes and their values are posted on their wall somewhere. And they have put those up because they want their children to understand them and know what they are. It's a really visual reminder to them, This is what we're declaring as a family is important to us. So it's a great accountability that's right there in front of them. [00:19:59]
So our children, as a gift to us in just recent years, they gave us those five words, and I said, and they gave them to us, and we've got them hanging in our kitchen. So they're a reminder to us as well as anybody else that comes in. They're great conversation pieces.
People come in our home and say, "Oh, tell me about those five words," you know? And so we said, well, these are the things that we've declared that are important to us. And we try to make sure that we are focusing well on these things.
Laura Dugger: I love that. I also find it just such a comfort to hear about your relationship with your adult children. So for those of us who are a little bit further behind, I would love for you just to encourage us, especially those who are working, whether that's part-time or they have this little side hustle or full-time job. What would your adult children say now as they look back? Were they ever resentful that you worked, or what does that look like for your family?
Trudy Cathy White: I think what I learned when I was growing up I've tried to implement with my children. [00:21:00] And this is what that looked like. When I was young, my mother and dad always tried to include us in things from time to time.
Of course, my dad had a restaurant, and when we were little, we could go and hang out at the restaurant. But a lot of times, my dad would go and take some food to a family, and he would take us along with him. So as much as they were able to, we were included in some things that happened that allowed us to see them almost on the job interacting with other people. I learned so much from my parents that way.
So with our own children, of course, being missionaries, a big part of their life was growing up in another country, and so much of what we did, we just took the children with us. Once we got through at language school, they were a part of it. But I think you even can bring your work life into your home with your children.
Now, my dad did this just regularly. He would come home, and some days were really hard days, and maybe our tendency as parents is to not share that with children. But I remember my dad would share almost to the point he would be crying sometimes. [00:22:00] He would be so discouraged about something that had happened. Maybe an employee stole from them, or dishonesty would happen and my dad really trusted someone about something.
My dad would share his challenges, my mother would take us to Scripture and read Scripture to us, and then we would pray together as a family for my dad, who was having a bad day. So as I grew up, I realized when I became an adult, I thought, Mm, I have a few bad days every once in a while. Then I realized, well, that's not unusual. I remember my parents had bad days.
So we've tried to do that with our own children, that when we have tough times, we try to share it with them and help them to understand, Hey, I know you have bad days, but I want you to know mom and dad have bad days sometimes too. You don't have to give them all the details, but you certainly can bring them into that so that they can see how you work through the challenges.
So I don't think my children would ever say that they're resentful for the time we spent investing in other people, because we've tried to be good about investing in them as well. [00:23:02]
Laura Dugger: That is really well said. I'd also love to hear, what is the one way that Jeannette Cathy parented you that had the most impact?
Trudy Cathy White: This is such a hard question when you think of one thing. But I think I would define my mom as my number one encourager. She just believed in me and always encouraged me. And sometimes I think, did she really believe that much? I'm sure I discouraged her and I'm sure that I disappointed her from time to time but somehow she was able to always bring it back to let me know, "Trudy, you know, I do believe in you. You're going to be able to do this and you're going to do it well."
And I would have maybe some really off-the-wall ideas or thoughts or dreams, and she always seemed to affirm those. I'm not even sure she totally agreed with it, but she just tried to affirm me in thinking forward and believing in myself before I even often believed in myself. [00:24:01]
Now, I was 19 years old when I became a Chick-fil-A operator, which I've raised children. And when they were 19, I'm not sure I would entrust a restaurant to them at that time. But my parents did. They said, "If you really think you want to do this, then, okay, we'll let you do it."
I was 19 years old. I had just finished my freshman year in college. I moved out of the dorm, got an apartment right near a shopping mall, which is where the Chick-fil-A store was going to open, and I was a Chick-fil-A operator for a year. My parents wanted me to go back to college and finish school. But it was because my parents kind of believed in me that motivated me to try something that I had never done before.
So even as an older adult, I remember having the opportunity to become a director for Winshape Camps, which is a camping program that we offer through our family foundation. And for 13 years, I was the director for camps. And I had never been a camp director before.
But I remember specifically my mother saying, "Well, why wouldn't you do this? You were a camper when you were a little girl, and you know how much camp meant to you. You could be a great camp director." [00:25:05]
So my mother believed in me. And I think parents need to do that with their children. Just believe in them and encourage them as much as you possibly can.
Laura Dugger: Wow, that's so good. Just personally, I cannot hear that enough. Just that reminder to be encouraging. Going back a little bit in your story and tying this in, it was before the whole coronavirus that a big group from Chick-fil-A was together earlier this year. My husband and I had the pleasure of sitting at your table, and I remember a story from that year as a Chick-fil-A owner. So is there any personal story that you would like to share of what happened that year?
Trudy Cathy White: Well, probably the most common one that I would tell is the fact that a gentleman came in and applied for a job to work there in the store as a team member and I decided I would hire him, not because I knew anything about him, but because he was good looking. [00:26:03]
And so I hired him to come and work with me, and then I realized that the more he worked around the store, the more attracted I was to him. I found out he was a college student in the local area there. And next thing I knew, I got really nervous because I was afraid that he was going to be meeting a lot of girls on campus and be able to go out with them.
Then I realized that I actually was his boss. I was making out his hours. I was determining when he would be at work in the store and I decided he didn't have to be free on Friday nights or Saturday nights to go out with other girls.
Actually, the strategy worked because he fell in love with me as well and we've been married now for 40, almost 44 years. So the Lord blessed that. That was the biggest takeaway from my one year as a Chick-fil-A operator is I got my lifelong partner.
Laura Dugger: Oh, I absolutely love that story. Now as we fast forward and then think of you two together parenting, what did you apply to your own parenting that you had learned from your mom? [00:27:03]
Trudy Cathy White: I would say that four-letter word, pray. Pray, pray, pray for your children. You know, we often find that we're expecting, you know, we begin to pray for them. Then when they come into this world, we pray for them. As they are toddlers and they are in preschool, we pray for the… and it's endless. You just have to pray, pray, pray for your children. I learned that from my mom. She was quite the prayer warrior in our family.
Another thing I think is... this is a strange thing, but I read this years ago. Someone said, you know, one of the things you ought to pray for your children, pray they get caught when they do wrong. I know that sounds a little weird kind of to pray that way. But as our children do grow up, they are always under our wings and in our care where we see them. They're going to school. They're meeting friends. They're out doing things and they're making choices on their own when they come preteens and teenage.
And to pray that they will get caught when they do things wrong, you know, that's what you want, because you don't want them to develop bad habits in their life. [00:28:03] And so they can get caught early on in life if they do things wrong, that's really a good thing.
I think just my parents reminded us often we weren't perfect children. You won't have two perfect children. They're just not perfect. And you have to realize that they're going to be ups and downs in the parenting seasons of life.
We have our own share of those as well, stories of our children growing up and decisions maybe that they made that we would not have wanted them to make. There have been consequences to that. But they have always stayed connected to us as their parents. And we just appreciate that so very much.
So don't expect your children to be perfect. You probably already found that out if you're listening today. But recognize the fact that you can pray for them daily and want them to follow the Lord. Because at the end of the day, that's really what you want. You want them to be obedient to God and to be a blessing to other people.
Laura Dugger: Oh, that is for sure. That we'll have no greater joy than to hear that our children are walking with the Lord and walking in truth. [00:29:03]
Some of you have asked how to find specific books or resources we've mentioned in one of our previous episodes. That's why I'm excited to let you know about our Resources tab. When you visit thesavvysauce.com, you can click on our tab called "Resources". There you will find all of the resources mentioned from every episode. And when you purchase a resource from that list, you're actually supporting our work at The Savvy Sauce.
We also spend a lot of time preparing show notes for every individual episode. So you can access websites, scripture, and the recommended resources when you click on any episode after you visit thesavvysauce.com. We hope you take advantage of these features so you can apply all that you've learned.
Will you share the story of how your mom played an inadvertent role in actually creating the chicken sandwich that is now the famous chicken sandwich served at Chick-fil-A?
Trudy Cathy White: Sure. You know, our family has given my mother the title Chief Supporting Officer. [00:30:06] We kind of feel like that was her role all these years with my dad's life and in growing the family business. Everybody needs somebody on their side supporting them. And that's what my mother was for my dad.
My dad said all he did was take a piece of chicken and put it between the buttered bun. But my mother, now she did a lot of things. He would just brag on her all the time. She was just amazing, the support that she would give to him.
But mother and dad met when they were eight years old. They lived just down the street from each other. But as my dad would say, they didn't get married then. In fact, it was later in life that they got married.
My dad was 25 years old and single when he opened his first restaurant. Three years later, he got married to my mom and mother immediately started supporting him by being a waitress in the restaurant. I've got some stories in my book, A Quiet Street, that talk about the impact that my mom had on employees that my dad had early on in that restaurant. So they'll need to get the book to read about that. [00:31:08]
But once children came along, my mother was very content in taking on that role of caring for us while my dad worked such long, long hours. But I love this saying that says that everything that is seen is the result of the unseen. So when people go to Chick-fil-A and eat it, and when you read stories and you hear about my dad's life, you need to know that those are the things that are seen. But the unseen is super, super powerful. And that is who my mom was.
I love the fact that she offered relentless support to my dad through the years, praying for him, caring for him, encouraging him. Any one of us in our family would say today, Chick-fil-A would not be what it is today had it not been for the support of my mom.
Laura Dugger: And she was just wonderful at being that supportive role, which is so necessary, like you said. We won't even get to scratch the surface on all the stories in the book, some that definitely had me tearing up and some that had me laughing out loud. [00:32:13] So we won't get to all of those. We'll have to read it.
But just one thing I found so ironic is that when your mom, like you said, she was an amazing vocalist. So at a young age, when she would be asked to sing at different churches, they only could afford to pay in chickens, which then the chickens went back to your dad's house because... you have to read the story to get all the details. But that's where your dad learned how to cook chicken right alongside his mom. Isn't that right?
Trudy Cathy White: That's exactly right. That's exactly right. Because my mother, because she's a single mom, she didn't get to go all very many places. But my dad's family was right down the road. My dad had a lot of brothers and sisters and his older sister, she got married to a minister and they would go to churches and they would take my mother along to sing at the churches. That's right. And they got chickens as the kind of payment for them being there. And those chickens made it right back to the home, to my dad's home, just as you shared the story. [00:33:17]
So I do share that in my book. It's a very intriguing story, almost unbelievable, the connections there. You feel like the Lord was in the middle of all this way from the beginning.
Laura Dugger: Oh, he certainly was. And I just love how even well before the age of 10, he was using your mom's gifts with your dad's gifts and putting it together. And Chick-fil-A has just blessed countless amount of people.
But your mom also had this wonderful ministry with Sunday school girls. And I would love for you to elaborate on the three Ms your mom taught her Sunday school girls.
Trudy Cathy White: Yes. Mother realized that when you're working with teenagers, one of the biggest things they complain about sometimes is the fact that they never get to make any decisions for themselves. It seems like their parents are always telling them what to do, what not to do and making decisions for them.
So my mother wanted these young girls to realize that there are three decisions that are the most important decisions you're going to make and you get to make them. [00:34:18] Your parents will not be making these decisions for you. And they all start with the letter M.
The first one is that, girls, you're going to get to choose who your master is going to be in life, who is really going to be in control of your life. You get to choose your master.
The second would be your mate. That, you know, you're going to grow up and you're going to get to choose who you're going to marry for the rest of your life. So you get to choose your mate.
And the third would be your mission. You know, what do you want to do in life? What will be your career? What will your mission look like?
And you get to choose all of those, your master, your mate, and your mission.
And mother would remind them and said, "You know, these are really, really big, big decisions. So don't worry that your mom and dad are making all the little decisions for you, but get yourself ready because one day you're going to have to make these decisions for yourself. And you don't want to make the wrong decisions. You want to make the right decision when it comes to that."
So she invested in them to know God's word, to study it. And she spent a lot of time with them, just helping them navigate their teenage years. [00:35:20]
I write about this in my book. And actually, when I was initially writing the book, I was thinking, you know, "I know a lot of stories about my mother, but there are a lot of other people that have stories probably that I've never heard before." One of the 12 people that we interviewed for this particular book happened to be one of the girls who was in my mom's Sunday school class, who's now grown and has her own children. And she gladly shared the stories about her time of sitting at church studying the Bible with my mom. It's a wonderful chapter in the book.
Laura Dugger: It definitely is. I just can't recommend the book high enough. We will be doing a giveaway as well on social media. I just hope that you all check it out.
But I find examples of generosity, not only to be inspiring, but also to be contagious. And the couple who comes to mind when I think of generosity is Truett and Jeannette Cathy. So how did you personally witness your parents' generosity? [00:36:23]
Trudy Cathy White: I think my earliest memory of my mother and dad and knowing that they were generous with what God had given us was when we would load up in the car and head to church. My mother would be in the front seat on the passenger side, of course, and she would pull out her checkbook. And that was when she wrote their tithe check that was going to go to the church.
They were faithful every week to give their tithe to the church. Mother was adamant about that. So I saw it first of all, just in how they managed their finances, which is really important for all of us to understand that we are to be stewards of the things that God has given us.
My parents taught us that God owns it all and that we simply need to steward it or manage it well for the Lord. So I love to remind people, you know, you need to manage what's in your hand, but you need to give away as much as you can.
So when we think about this idea of generosity and how it was modeled for me through my parents, I realized that they were generous, not just with their finances, but there are some other things that we all have that we have to learn how to be generous with. [00:37:30]
One is our time. We all have 24 hours in a day, but we get to choose how we're going to spend our time. So being generous with your time, giving it to other people is very important. I learned that from my parents.
The Bible talks a lot about the fact that, you know, we've been given talents to use of skills and abilities that we have. And are we stewarding those well being generous with our talents? If you do something really well, are you using it and are you doing it to be able to using it to help others? And then of course, our treasure, the finances, the resources that we have.
I think the last thing that I like to add that I've noticed in my parents that I've tried to live out before my children as well, is we all have the opportunity for influence and we have to be generous with our influence. We all can influence people around us and we need to just be aware that we can do it and be generous about it.
Laura Dugger: Well, and I appreciate that generosity so much. Then even as it's one of your five core values, what are some other ways that you and your husband have carried this forward with your family to be generous with your time, talents, treasures? [00:38:40]
Trudy Cathy White: I think some of the ways that we've been able to do that is simply by looking out for the needs of other people around us. My parents told me this when I was a teenager. I think one of the first times I remember hearing it was they told me this. They said, "Trudy, if you'll help other people get what they want in life, you'll eventually get what you want out of life."
What I have grown to understand that to mean is that life is not about me. Everything doesn't revolve around me. In fact, the more I spend time worrying and thinking about myself, the worse off I am. But if I can put my focus on other people around me and what are their needs and how can I celebrate them well, then there's something that's very rewarding and gratifying in that.
In fact, Jesus said, it's better to give than to receive. So if we can give by identifying the needs of other people and see how we can help them, it just kind of gets our mind off of maybe some of the problems and challenges that we have. [00:39:44] So I would say if you're having a bad day today, go find somebody you can help and do something for them. It's a great way to be generous. It's a great way to put your focus on somebody else, and you'll find that you'll get a lot out of life when you do that.
Laura Dugger: I just say amen to all of that. Just another fun question as we think back about your parents. How do you think they managed to stay like newlyweds forever?
Trudy Cathy White: Such a great question. I think, number one, they were just committed to each other. They weren't a perfect couple. They had issues. They had problems they had to work through. They had disagreements. They didn't always see eye to eye on things. And so that's to be expected.
But they were very committed to their marriage. They were committed to work through any challenges that they faced. I think mother decided early on she couldn't change dad, and dad wasn't going to try to change her. They just kind of tried to accept each other the way they were. And that's very important for us to do.
I think the biggest thing that I saw is just this idea of being able to manage expectations well. [00:40:46] In fact, I'll tell you this little story. I remember picking my mother up, taking her to the doctor. She was in her 70s, and she got in the car, and you could tell she had been doing some really serious thinking. And she said to me, "Trudy, I've decided something significant today."
And I said, "What's that, mom?" She said, "I've decided to have no more expectations for your dad." I said, "Well, tell me about that." She said, "Well, you know, I've had all these expectations." I think my mother felt that probably my dad would retire when he got to be 65. And, of course, there's no way he was going to stop work. He loved what he did. He never retired. He worked right up until the Lord took him home practically. A
I think my mother just kind of felt like at some point in time, maybe things are going to change and be a little different. He won't be as busy. He'll have more time around the house. But that never happened. And so she just decided, you know, I'm not going to have any more expectations.
After she had passed away, I found where on an index card she had written down those very words. It said, "Have no expectations. None whatsoever." [00:41:49] And she underlined the "whatsoever" part. So none whatsoever. And I thought, what an amazing lady she was. She decided to have no more expectations on her husband.
So I have expectations for John, but I've tried to manage those really, really well. I just appreciate the commitment and the way they model their marriage before us.
Laura Dugger: I also loved watching their marriage and just their little sense of humor with each other and the tenderness. But there's one more quote I want to highlight about your mom. And it's from page 61 where you write, "and when she wasn't pouring scripture into herself, she was pouring it out to others." And I just thought, wow, I want to be like that. Just thinking of her as your model growing up, what are three things that you want to emulate from your mother's life?
Trudy Cathy White: One of the things I would say is that I want to be open to learn new things the way she was. [00:42:51] She never thought she was too old to memorize scripture. She never thought she was too old to learn new things, even technology. She was just a lifelong learner. So that would be one.
I think the second thing I would want to emulate from my mother's life is that I would be very faithful with the things that God has given me and grateful for them. Faithful in my marriage. Faithful as a mother and grandmother to children and grandchildren. Faithful as a friend. And faithful with my opportunity of influence. Just be faithful with whatever God's given me because I saw my mother do that and do it so well.
I think the third one would be to have the wisdom that my mom had would be something I would desire. And the wisdom that I saw in my mother was that she never gave up, but she knew when to quit, which is kind of interesting. [00:43:51]
She always had this philosophy, never give up. She'd always keep trying. But then she also said, "But you need to know when to quit." There were times in my mother's life that she had the wisdom to know that she needed to set something aside so that she could focus more attention on something else." And to have that kind of discernment and wisdom, I think those are the three things I would want to emulate in my mom's life.
Laura Dugger: Those are incredible. I just love this conversation and your resource just because personally, my mom is so precious to me and I think she's the best mom in the world. So reading your book was just kind of a warm experience to reminisce on some of the things that my mom and I have experienced together or conversations we're still having.
So if listeners do want to find this book, where would you direct them?
Trudy Cathy White: You can go to any of your local bookstores. You certainly can go to my website, TrudyCathyWhite.com. It'll be posted there. [00:44:52] And then there is a website, QuietStrengthBook.com, where you can list all the different places. It's obviously very easy to order on Amazon as well. So I'm grateful for all the places that are carrying the book and making it accessible to other people.
Laura Dugger: We didn't even mention this is not your first book. So that will be great to link to your website so listeners can learn more about you and can see other resources that you've written.
Trudy Cathy White: That's correct.
Laura Dugger: We are called The Savvy Sauce because "savvy" is synonymous with practical knowledge or discernment. And so as my final question for you today, Trudy, what is your savvy sauce?
Trudy Cathy White: This is the hardest question I'm telling you. I think if I had to leave a word of encouragement, my savvy sauce would be, write somebody and thank them today. I love to write handwritten notes. I just think it's something that's maybe a lost art that very few people do. I think they're treasured. But to just sit down and write somebody a note. I think it's a huge thing. [00:45:55] I would say clearly eat more chicken, right?
Laura Dugger: Yes to that. That's a perfect place to end for today. Trudy, just thank you again for all of those values that you've lived out even during this time together with your integrity and generosity of time and your gratitude. It just exudes from you. So I really enjoyed hosting you as my guest today.
Trudy Cathy White: Thank you, Laura, for having me. I'm just so honored. I appreciate it very much.
Laura Dugger: One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners and God is perfect and holy, so He cannot be in the presence of sin. Therefore, we're separated from Him.
This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. [00:46:58] We need a savior. But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only Son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute.
This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus.
We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
So would you pray with me now? Heavenly, Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. [00:48:00] Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change their lives now for eternity. In Jesus name, we pray, amen.
If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him, you get the opportunity to live your life for Him.
At this podcast, we are called Savvy for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you're ready to get started?
First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision my parents took me to Barnes and Noble to get the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. Start by reading the book of John.
Get connected locally, which basically means just tell someone who is part of the church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you. [00:49:02]
We want to celebrate with you too. So feel free to leave a comment for us if you made a decision for Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process.
Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.
If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.
Welcome to The Savvy Sauce
Practical chats for intentional living
A faith-based podcast and resources to help you grow closer to Jesus and others. Expect encouragement, surprises, and hope here. Each episode offers lively interviews with fascinating guests such as therapists, authors, non-profit founders, and business leaders.
They share their best practices and savvy tips we can replicate to make our daily life and relationships more enjoyable!
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