44. Identity in Christ That Drives Our Calling with Annie Iskandarian
1 John 4: 18 (NIV) “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
**Transcription Below**
Annie Iskandarian is passionate about communicating God's truth in a relevant way for lasting life change. She holds a BA in Communications and Masters Degree in Biblical and Theological Studies. Annie is wife to an entrepreneur and happily married into her husband's big Armenian family. She is also mother to four children 5 years and under. While Annie is a type-A, focused and organized personality, having four children in five years has taught her to loosen up and not take herself so seriously. In her small windows of personal time, Annie loves to workout at her local YMCA, drink dark roast coffee and sleep! She resides in the heart of Silicon Valley and stays home full time with her little monkeys.
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Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who beleve. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
**Transcription**
[00:00:00] <music>
Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
[00:00:17] <music>
Laura Dugger: I want to say thank you to our sponsor, Peoria Christian School. They are raising a generation of 21st-century Christian leaders right here in central Illinois. Visit their website at peoriachristian.org. Thanks for your sponsorship.
Today we get to hear from Annie Iskandarian as we talk about a range of topics from helpful mom hacks to living a full countercultural life. You will quickly notice Annie is passionate about communicating God's truth in a relevant way for lasting life change.
Annie and I met in Atlanta years ago when my husband was a speaker at a conference for our church, and she was the worship leader. We became instant friends, and I'm excited to get to share her with you today.
Hey, Annie.
Annie Iskandarian: Hey, Laura. How's it going?
Laura Dugger: Great. So glad that you're joining us today. Will you start by just telling us a little bit about yourself?
Annie Iskandarian: Sure. [00:01:17] Well, my name is Annie Iskandarian. And for those of you who have any kind of Middle Eastern background, Iskandarian is Armenian. So I'm married into an Armenian family. And I am about the whitest, blondest, blue-eyed girl you've ever met. So you can imagine how I stick out like a sore thumb on that side of the family. But that's been really fun journey for me.
My kids are first-generation Armenians living here in San Jose, California. My background is I grew up in a small beach town called Santa Cruz in California. So I am mostly Californian. I spent most of my growing-up years there. And then through high school and college years, I was in Atlanta, Georgia, where I met you, Laura. And then spent my college years in Chicago, went to Moody Bible Institute and studied communications there.
After college, I moved back to Atlanta for a little bit for work, where I managed communications and marketing. And then eventually, about 22, 23 years old, I moved to San Jose, where I continued to work for a nonprofit doing marketing and communications. Then that led me to a church where my husband and I we met and led a ministry there together. [00:02:23]
So long story short, we were together at a church in San Jose, California, and before we knew it, we had four kids. So that's kind of been part of our journey. And along that way, before I had my first kid, I finished up my master's in biblical and theological studies. So part of the big part about me is I love studying God's word and teaching other people about God's word. And now I get to do that a lot with my kids.
Laura Dugger: And you do that so well. Some listeners may have learned from your dad as well, who's Chip Ingram. So how has your dad's life in ministry affected your personal calling?
Annie Iskandarian: Oh, it's made a huge impact. In the early years, when I was in probably junior high, elementary, or junior high, my dad started airing on the radio. He was a local pastor in Santa Cruz, California. By the time I was in high school, he was leading an international discipleship ministry that spanned all over the world. And so I got the privilege of being able to travel with him and do ministry with him. I came alongside him for several years to write with him. [00:03:27]
I think the biggest testimony to me about my dad was just that his life was consistent. His life and his mission to preach God's Word rooted so deeply in me because I saw that consistency and integrity. It planted and birthed in me a desire to do the same thing. And so what my parents lived and what he preached, it was consistent at home. And so I was like, I have no greater testimony of how I want to live my life. This works. Trusting in God and loving Him and being His Word, it changes your life. I wanted that same thing, and so I ended up on a very similar path as my father.
Laura Dugger: You and I have both benefited from the gift of having amazing earthly fathers, but even more important, we get to be daughters of God. That opportunity to be a child of God is available to everyone listening, regardless of their family situation here on earth.
That ties into this next question. So Annie, as you've rooted your identity in Christ, He has revealed a calling on your life. Can you share what that calling is and how it's manifested itself over time? [00:04:35]
Annie Iskandarian: Sure. Just early on, I'd say even by high school, I just felt this strong pull to communicate. I can look back to even high school years of being part of different things at church, or I went to public high school in Georgia, and that was a huge opportunity for me to learn how to share my faith.
When I thought about what do I want to do with my life, I just realized I just want to communicate and teach people about God. Even I remember writing out a college application to Moody Bible Institute, and you know, they're asking, you know, what does God calling you to do with your life? I just remember the succinct sentence that God gave me, and it stuck with me my whole life, that He has called me to communicate God's truth in a relevant way for lasting life change.
So whether He's having me talk to moms or talking to children or, you know, young professionals, God, I think He almost just uses the season I've been in to let me rub shoulders with the people I'm around to communicate His truth. That journey led me to go to college and also to my undergrad and master's in biblical and theological studies. That just really drove the direction of my life. [00:05:42]
In those early years, for me, for my early 20s meant a lot of like public speaking, teaching, writing, blogging, leadership training. I was really passionate. Part of what drew my husband and I together is when we had joined our church, we just saw such a gap between that post-college 20s and 30s. There was just nothing at our church for people who say, like, I really want to follow God. We just didn't see that in our demographic.
And so that was just a big passion of ours, that we would help cultivate an environment and a community to teach people and encourage them to really live out their faith. That drove a lot of where I spent my time.
But my life really did change. You know, I kind of thought for a lot of my life I'd just kind of walk right behind my dad's footsteps. I helped him with a lot of different events. I used to go straight from my father a lot. So I was used to blogging a lot about content, helping people understand God's love for them and the hope to find in Him. [00:06:44]
But when I was just finishing up my master's, I remember giving a speech at the graduation. I was very, very pregnant, eight months pregnant. I remember everyone sharing at graduation, like, here's the next thing you're going to do. And I had a picture of myself pregnant on the screen and it says, "I'm going to be a stay-at-home mom."
It seemed a little anticlimactic to finish up all this education only to stay home. But I just remember feeling like, Okay, well, God, you've given me this example from my own family and I just feel called that like I want to be the primary influence in my child's life. If that means I need to push pause, you know, on my career path right now or limit to how much time I spend on it, I'm willing to do that. Like, God, you've given me this gift. So I have no idea what I'm doing, but like, I just want to take that step of obedience.
I remember bringing this baby home and, you know, life just changed. We can kind of go further into that story later. But what I've been learning in the big picture is even though God has placed that call on my life, it doesn't mean that it's on hold just because I stay home. Now I'm home with four little monkeys five years and under, and He's still calling me to communicate God's truth in a relevant way. [00:08:00]
Now I'm learning how to do that in a way that children understand his love. That's been a huge challenge for me because I'm someone who loves spending time with adults. I'm not a kid lover. I was so fearful of having kids because I felt like I don't even like babies. And so when I started to have kids of my own, I realized, oh, I really like, I really love my own children.
But learning to communicate God's love and His word to little children has been a whole new learning for me. That's the kind of the journey God's taking me on. I just have trusted that He's fulfilling that calling in my life through the neighbors and the friends and the family and the people that he allows me to rub shoulders with in my little sphere right now, being home with my kids. I'm pretty tied to home with nap times and all their schedules, but He's still using me and I'm still experiencing the joy of being in that calling.
Laura Dugger: Wow. And I think so many people are identifying with this because maybe like you, they've pursued a passion or a dream. [00:09:01] Also, having children, it feels to them like they have to make a choice: Which way will they go? It sounds like you're saying it can still be both, but it will look different than you're assuming.
Annie Iskandarian: Absolutely, yeah.
Laura Dugger: So at this time when you're saying you've got this high call of motherhood and this other call that God's put on your life, what has that looked like in the past and the present?
Annie Iskandarian: Sure. I'll just kind of go back picking up on my story that when I had my first baby, I think just to be really honest with everyone who's listening and maybe they felt this way as well, I remember bringing that baby home and you know, the first few months you're just trying to like figure out how to like nurse a baby and sleep and all those basic things.
I didn't know if I even had enough brain space to think about career. I was just kind of thankful I didn't have any other pressures to deal with. But once that baby started sleeping through the night and I had more free time, I was a little restless and I struggled. I really struggled with... it went back to identity issues for me. [00:10:04]
What I had known is Annie is important and Annie is valuable and significant when she performs really well. I don't know if I would have been able to tell you that was my belief system because I would have said, Well, God loves me. I'm worthy because He loves me.
But the belief system that I was really living out was when I work hard and I get pats on the back and I execute a plan really well at work or get that piece written for that article that needs submitted, when those things get accomplished, then I feel really good about myself. Now all of that was stripped away from me.
So that was a really big struggle. I had to wrestle for several months with how... okay, God, you've given me all this opportunity to be educated, you've given me so much opportunity and people want me to work but yet you've placed this baby in front of me that obviously needs a lot of my time and attention, and you've told me that like I'm the person that's supposed to raise them and love them and teach them. [00:11:05]
I think the biggest thing for me was really dealing with my identity issues before I said yes to anything else. I think what happens when just talking to other friends is, you know, we get restless or life's just really hard being home because being a stay-at-home mom is really difficult, we kind of run to the next job opportunity because it makes us feel good.
I think for me, I really had to go through a process of, okay... like being in God's word, that was a big part for me was just getting in His word every day and being like, "God, who do you say I am? Because I don't feel very significant anymore." I had come from being on a platform and speaking publicly a lot. I had been in a place where I just felt like I got a lot of accolades, and then it was just like, now I'm in the daily unseen and no one sees me. No one sees me up in the middle of the night changing a diaper. No one sees me taking care... and no one saw me vacuum the floor. Is that all I'm good for today?
God just took me on a journey of realizing how loved I am apart from my works, apart for my career. [00:12:08] That was a really important process for me to go through. And I think processing with my mentor, talking to other moms who have gone before me and I think that's the truth from God's word we're really shaping process.
And you know, it was so cool. It was so freeing. I got to this point where I was like, Okay, I know God's put these really strong calls on my life and He's gifted me, but it doesn't mean it's over. He's put me in a really specific season to be faithful in. His love for me and my significance does not change just because my season has changed. That was the journey he took me on.
As I processed all that, He did give me an opportunity to do some contract work. Given that I do a lot of writing, I was able to do some of that and do some events and projects. I ended up working between baby one and baby two, and they were only 16 months apart. So I didn't have much time in between. But I think maybe when he was eight or nine months, I worked maybe during my pregnancy of my second child, anywhere from maybe five to 10 hours a week. [00:13:07]
I would drop my little guy off with my mom for five or six, seven hours, maybe one day a week. And then I'd use maybe early in the morning or late at night to just finish up a couple of things. And that seemed to work. That seemed like a really good balance for our family at that time.
Then after baby number two came, I kind of went through my same wrestling again, because I had gotten used to working a little bit. And I had to go back to like, well, what does God say about me? And where does my significance and my value lie? Then He gave me another opportunity.
One thing I just want to say is just because you're given an opportunity doesn't mean you say yes. I think that's been the biggest lesson I've learned in job opportunities when you stay home with your kids. I've had to say no to a lot of things. I always get really excited right when the offer is there. And then when I'm really honest and take time to pray and listen, a lot of times, I'd say nine times out of ten, God says no. And it's like, oh, really? But God's like, well, you trust me. He was always asking me if I'm going to trust him with my career path, because He's the one who owns it. He's the one who's going to provide. [00:14:11]
I ended up saying yes to another opportunity. I should also highlight, I said yes to something I shouldn't have, and it really, really put a strain on our family for a season. There was a season about three years ago where my husband lost his job. Instead of waiting patiently and praying, I jumped on the first opportunity I had to make money, and it was a terrible decision. It just showed me when I take things into my own hands, it creates so much stress for our little family.
That's a big lesson that God taught me. He's really taught me to be patient, to listen to Him when those job opportunities come, and to see if He says yes or not. He's given little opportunities to work here and there in between kids.
Once I had my third one, I kind of hit my capacity. I don't think I'm going to be able to really do anything consistent. Here and there, I've said yes to a really small project. And that's worked really well where I said, okay, like this deadline's in two weeks and I'll deliver X, Y, and Z. and I can line up babysitting for a couple hours here and there. But I've never been able to do anything really consistent weekly just because I don't have the support for babysitting, nor do I really want to hand that off. [00:15:23] I just really feel like I'm called to be home primarily with my kids and be that influence for them.
Laura Dugger: That's so neat to hear your journey. It's powerful. To make it relatable to everyone out there, touch base with God. Ask Him because He may have a yes, He may have a no, He may have a course correction, but you can trust Him. He is good.
Annie Iskandarian: Yeah, that's been one of the biggest things I've learned in my journey with Him, and as a mom is a lot of times following God doesn't always make sense. It's not always if you do this, then He'll do that. The life of faith is trusting Him. It means that you make wise decisions. You got to be smart about what you do. But I think there's so much room to trust Him.
I think a lot of times we kind of calculate our own plans and how things are going to work out. [00:16:12] Like with our finances, one of the values we've had personally, people have different perspectives on this, but for our family, my husband, it's been really important to him that I never say yes to a job opportunity for the money. It's only to fulfill the calling and the joy in my life. So that's really removed that burden for me.
And does that mean that we're just abounding in money? Not necessarily. We've had seasons where it's been better and seasons when it's been really hard. But I think he's really wanted me as the primary caretaker of our kids to feel like that is my main gig and that if I'm going to take on something on the side, it's really out of joy and it's out of this gifting and calling that's going to refresh me.
Because there's times as moms when we're home all day and those days are long and they're weary and they're mundane. Like to be able to go do something and use your brain, it's super refreshing and that can actually be a great thing. So it makes you a better mom and a better wife.
Laura Dugger: I love that, using the joy of the overflow, the abundance. [00:17:13] So when you are having these decisions about working, do you ever struggle with guilt that comes along with that?
Annie Iskandarian: Absolutely. There's definitely been seasons where I've said yes to things and then I feel the weight of those decisions and realize, Oh my, I must have overestimated how much this was going to require of me. And then I feel the guilt of not spending as much time with my kids or the house is a mess or I don't have dinner on the table. Then all that stuff just stresses me out and then it's this big ball of mess. And then I just cry. I don't know if you feel that way sometimes.
I think sometimes we have to identify where that guilt is coming from. Sometimes there's guilt that helps us, I think it helps us stop and reevaluate. So when we're feeling that guilt... guilt is not from God, conviction is. And so I think being able to discern where those feelings are coming from is really important when you start to feel those things. [00:18:12]
For me, you know, there's been times where I said yes to that work opportunity and it lasted six months and I felt a lot of guilt and a lot of stress because I realized I said yes to something that I shouldn't have and I just got myself in a commitment that I shouldn't have. And so I was living with kind of the remorse of what that meant. I was feeling guilt over my kids being in front of the TV too much, maybe not being as present at home, having my phone open all the time, you know, when my kids are just wanting to have me push them on the swing. And I did not like living with that.
What I realized is that was a kind of guilt that was like a conviction where I realized that was like God tapping on my heart saying, Okay, let's reevaluate this. And how can you deal with this? Then sometimes I think we experience guilt that's false guilt. I think it's really important to discern that.
I love the passage in 1 John 4:18. It says, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect and love." I think it's really important to go back to what are our motives behind our decision-making? [00:19:25] Are we saying yes to an opportunity out of fear because we feel like our identity is missing, this piece of success or identity? That would be making a decision out of fear and not out of love, and then that could produce guilt.
But if you have prayed about something and you feel like this is what you need, what your family needs... a lot of times when we make decisions as moms, you're making a decision for the whole family. Because we can't see ourselves as individuals, we need to see ourselves as the ones. It's a holistic family decision when we say yes to a work opportunity.
But I've had times where I've said yes to an opportunity and really prayed about it, got on the same page as my husband, and known there's going to be a sacrifice there. But it's been driven out of love and security of knowing this is what I'm called to do. And when you have a clear green light like that, and especially I think being on the same page as your spouse is a really big part of that that God uses, then you can go in confidence.
If some of that guilt comes in, then I think you just attack that guilt with Okay, this guilt is not from God. This is from the enemy. And I need to be aware and do my best to be present at home and with my children. But if I've been called for X, Y, and Z, then I need to be faithful to carry it out. And God's going to give me the grace to get through it. [00:20:34]
I think that's been times for me where He's given me something to do outside the home and He's provided the people and the village, the tribe to love my kids along the way. I'm just reminded I'm not the only person that can help my children grow and develop. There are so many friends and family, teachers that make a great influence and difference in our kids' lives.
So I think it's kind of a lie to think that we're the only ones that can pour into them and help them grow. There's so many amazing influences that we can surround our children with while we get something done, especially if we're called to it.
Laura Dugger: I love how you said that. And now a brief message from our sponsor.
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PCS supports the Christian home and church by teaching from a biblical worldview. Their caring faculty and staff infuses God's truths through every area of the day, not just in daily Bible classes or in weekly chapels.
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Peoria Christian School is raising a generation of 21st-century Christian leaders. Visit their website at peoriachristian.org and schedule a campus tour today. Thanks for your sponsorship! [00:22:42]
Laura Dugger: As Christians, we often talk about this term "quiet time". Can you explain what "quiet time" means and then share how that definition has expanded for you over time?
Annie Iskandarian: Quiet time kind of in the Christian community we would use that phrase as time set apart to be alone with God. Characteristically, it's quiet and then you spend time doing it, reading His word, praying, sitting quietly. Usually, I associate it with a hot cup of coffee and a couch. Those have been things that I've enjoyed.
For me, the definition of a quiet time, there's things that have evolved about it for me over the years, from the time I was young, learning to spend time with God to where I am now in my early thirties with being a mom of four. For me, a quiet time, I think it always has to have the components of connection and communication with God and some type of grounding in His word, whether you're reading from His word, you're praying. But those things are essential for a quiet time. [00:23:45]
But I think how that looks and how it plays out can look really differently for different people and in different seasons. So for me growing up, probably from the time I was in high school through probably my mid-20s, quiet time meant for me I wake up early before work or before school, I find my comfy chair and get my coffee and my protein bar and I sit down and I read a passage. I might write it out in my journal, study it, I'll circle things that are important, pray about it, process it, and think about how I can apply it to my life. It was much more time to study and then time to really pray. For me, it was really quiet and it was a time for me to pray out loud. So that was really important for me in my journey of learning to have a quiet time.
Well, I got really disturbed when I became a mom or even got married. I remember being like, "Oh, this other person sitting here. I can't pray out loud with them sleeping next to me, you know, or being in the same house. So learning to adapt and find those spaces that work for you to meet with God. [00:24:46]
It really was an adjustment for me becoming a mother. I still kind of figured out how to have those quiet times with one kid at home, but once two, three, four came, it just got harder and harder. I think it's easy to just give up because as moms, it's hard to find time for ourselves. Someone's up at 2 a.m. Someone wet their pants. Now someone's hungry at 5:30, everyone needs breakfast. There's always something and we're just tired.
One of the things that I've really learned is that quiet times don't have to be quiet, and they don't have to be early in the morning, but they're essential to be great life-givers. I think for us, our primary role as moms is to pour out life and truth and goodness and patience to our children.
I don't know about you, but I do not have the capacity or willpower to do that in my own strength. So I need time with God. I need His Spirit to fill me afresh. Talks about in Romans 12 too that we'll be renewed when we're in His Word. His Word and His truth renews us and shows us what to do.
Moms, we make a million small decisions every day. I need the wisdom of God to show me, Well, do I feed this kid this now and then do nap time or do I like drive over here and pick this kid up? [00:26:07] We make up so many decisions and God can give us wisdom on how to order our home and He can give us patience when our kids cry for hours aren't in or whine or having tantrums. He can show us what to do. He can give us power to be patient when those things happen.
So I've learned that whether you're pregnant and you can't sleep or you have a newborn, there's still a way to meet with God. Some of the ways I've learned to do that is... like this morning I'd planned to get up early and guess who was up at 4 a.m. and then 5:15 was my little Nathan. He just kept crying. He's too little, you know, he can't be on his own. He's 19 months. So he ended up just climbing in bed with me.
I prefer to be alone with my quiet time. Finally, I drank my coffee. And he's really cute, sharing his little granola bar with me. I handed him over to my husband for maybe 10 minutes. And you know what, in those 10 minutes, I realized I have to fight for it. And so I just picked up my devotional and I just reviewed a verse, just one verse. And I just asked the Lord, God, will you help me today? Will you just show me how to live? Will you help me to trust You with all that I have going on? Will you give me strength because I'm so tired? [00:27:16]
I just claimed that verse. And you know what? That was my quiet time today. But you know what? I connected with the Lord. I depended upon Him and I put His word in my heart. There's been other times where I don't even get those 10 minutes and I just blast worship music in my house. And sometimes I've just learned to pray out loud with the chaos all around me.
My kids, sometimes... I don't know about you, but if you've ever had all your kids screaming and crying all at the same time, it can be so stressful. I used to just cry with them, because I'm like, I don't know what to do. And now I've learned to pray out loud over them when they are a mess. It usually calms me down. Usually I try to get one calm down at a time. But I've learned that God's present. He's with us.
He doesn't need us to be still and sit quietly for us to meet Him. He's already with us. If we've invited Him to live inside of our hearts, He's present and He can give us power. And we can call on Him at any time, in any hour, whether it's quiet or loud or chaotic, and He meets us there. So that's just been a big journey for me.
I would say just for women in our stage, I think it is a mindset to fight for, though. For me, it's like a non-negotiable. It's one of those things I can't live without. So even if I can't have that space, I'd say once a week or once a couple times a month I get that full hour where I get a study something because I'm home with four little kids that all need something. [00:28:35] But I can still find those, that 10-minute window I can replace scrolling on Facebook. It's all about my decisions and how I use my time.
Laura Dugger: That's so good to hear these creative solutions. For somebody it may be writing on a post-it note and sticking it on your mirror one verse that you can refer to or put something in your vehicle if you're carting your kids around all day. I know personally, there was a mentor that I had years ago when I was first becoming a mom, and she said, the Bible tells us that we don't live by bread alone, but by the words that come from God. And that is His Bible.
And so she said, just think, if you were hungry all day, but you were so busy with all these kids, you didn't have time to sit down and eat a large meal, would you just say, Okay, forget it. I won't eat today. No. You would take what you could get. You would snack.
And so she said, something I did when my kids were little, I left a Bible out in a room that we would be in quite a bit, either the kitchen or the playroom and I would just snack all day long, just read one verse here and there and pray and connect with God. [00:29:42] I love that God is so creative. There's endless ways that everybody could apply that to their own lives.
Annie Iskandarian: Yeah, there's even times I put kids' praise music on in the car. And a lot of times they're pretty scripture-based. I'm like tearing up driving the kids somewhere over the kids' praise song. But I'm like, Hey, if that's what God needed to give me today to get through it, awesome.
Laura Dugger: Oh my goodness, so true. Their devotionals and stories that we share with them can always be applicable to our own hearts. Do you have any fun resources to share or songs that you recommend?
Annie Iskandarian: Most people I've talked to have never heard of it, but I grew up on Salty, the singing songbook. You can still find them on iTunes, but all of the songs are based on scriptures. So the kids learn how to memorize scripture by singing songs. So that's Salty, the Singing Songbook. I've heard great stuff about Keith Green. So these are kind of old-school resources. I know there's so many other resources out there. I feel like I could utilize more and learn more from others too. [00:30:41]
Laura Dugger: That's so good. And we'll link to those in the show notes. Some that I like as we're driving, we still have a CD player, I believe it's called Slugs and Bugs. It's scripture to music, so we'll link to all of that.
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Something I've always admired about you, Annie, is your ability to be joyful living a countercultural life. [00:31:46] So what is one thing that you and your family are currently doing to intentionally push back against culture?
Annie Iskandarian: I think, especially for us living in Silicon Valley, for me to stay home full time with the kids is super counter-cultural. I think it's the number one educated city in the world. It's pretty normal for everyone around here to have a master's or higher. It's just education and status and power are just so big here and money. It's the home of Google and Facebook and Twitter and all these really big software companies. It's really common.
Most women I know, after six or eight weeks, maybe three months, they're back at work. A lot of these big companies they have daycares that are just attached to these companies. So they take their kids to these daycares or hire nannies. Most people here have a lot of money. They kind of just hand off their kids for the primary part of the day be raised by someone else.
I think for us to make that decision to be on one income is a really big deal. [00:32:46] It's hard to even rent a house here on one income. You're competing with two incomes everywhere you go. So that's been a step of faith for us to take, to be on one income. And we've just seen God provide over and over and over again.
Every time we've had a child, my husband has either gotten a raise. Or one time we had a child and he got fired, but God opened another door for him to get another job that paid way more. So we just went on this journey of faith, of learning to trust Him. And we just had some convictions and values that have driven decision-making. So I think that's been really countercultural.
And I feel it. You know, I feel it when I go to the park. I feel it when I'm out. I really stick out. When I go to the park I don't meet other moms normally. It's like I meet grandmas and nannies. It can feel lonely at times being the only stay-at-home mom. I have a handful of friends that also do the same, and it's really nice to know them and do life with them, but it's definitely not the norm.[00:33:47]
Laura Dugger: Were there any scriptures that informed that decision about being the main one with your children in these young formative years?
Annie Iskandarian: Yes. There's a couple of them. There's a passage in 1 Timothy 2:15. It says, "But women will be saved through childbearing if they continue in faith, love, holiness, with self-control." For a long time, I thought that verse was trying to say we're going to be saved. It was just like it was a weird verse for me. What do you mean we'll be saved through childbearing?
But what it's talking about... that word "saved", you see it in another context later in 1 Timothy, but it's talking about our sanctification process. It's talking about how we're made holy, how we're changed by mothering our kids. It's talking about how God uses mothering as this primary tool to make us holy and to make us like Himself. It's a conditional phrase. You'll be sanctified, you'll be changed, you'll be like Christ through childbearing, but it's if, if you continue in faith, if you continue in love, holiness, and with self-control. [00:34:51]
And so I think the idea that I'm going to trust God with my mothering, that I'm going to love my kids, that I'm going to seek His help with that has been really big. Kind of going back to that high calling. I think that philosophy for me has been I'm called to do this. And for me, life's greatest purpose, kind of overarching for me, is that I would walk with God and that I would love Him and become more like Him every day.
And God's designed us as women to be life-givers. Biologically, you see it with how we're made, and also just spiritually, He's created us to give life and to nurture life how He's made us as female. And that's a whole other topic or podcast we could talk about. But how He's made us, we are specially gifted and designed to rear these children and to teach them and to train them up and to nurture them. I think that's made a really big difference.
I think the model of having my mother stay home and the influence and the impact that made in my life and in my brother's lives, it just made a big impact. [00:35:55] I think for me, it's not just the time spent with your child, although that time's really important, but for my husband and I, it's all about transmitting the values that we have onto our children.
So if I want to see my sons and daughters love God for their whole life, no matter who they become, whether they become lawyers or doctors or preachers or scientists, whatever they become, my greatest joy and goal in life is that they would love God. So if I'm going to teach them to love God, they have to see my life and be up close and personal with me a lot. I think for us, it's a lot about transmitting those values and that being one of the most effective ways to do that.
Laura Dugger: I love that. We've gone pretty deep in this episode. So let's lighten up with a quick lightning round. What are some healthy snacks that you feed your kids?
Annie Iskandarian: My go-to are cucumbers, tomatoes, apples, and oranges. There's a Sprouts SoCo Farmers Market grocery store near our house. I can get like three cucumbers for a buck. So almost with two meals a day, I cut up cucumbers and they have to eat at least two or three of them with their meal. And then afternoon snacks, I'm big on apples, oranges, stuff like that. [00:37:10]
Laura Dugger: What are some mom hacks that help you thrive with four at home?
Annie Iskandarian: Can I say sleep training? Sleep, early bedtimes. One of the best things I read early on, these are two great resources, I read Babywise when my kids, my first one came. and I know Babywise books, for those who are not familiar with it, it's all about helping your infant achieve nighttime sleep. And in the mom community world, there can be a lot of controversy about that book. But I took a lot of the main principles from that book, and it really helped me thrive and help my kids sleep at night in terms of just helping get on great rhythms for feeding and sleeping. Part of why I've been able to have so many kids so close together is because my kids sleep at night. There's been a lot of principles from that book that have helped.
We're really big on early bedtime. In the winter and fall, my kids go to sleep between 6:30 and 7:00 p.m. every night. Summertime, like 7:00 to 7:30. That just gives us time to breathe. It gives my husband and I time to hang out. So that's a huge one. [00:38:12]
Another one that's been a game changer for us are stop clocks and potties in their own room. So we have a stop clock that's in my kid's room. It's like a Street stop clock. Has a red orange and a green light. So when the light is red, they stay in bed and when it's green, they can come out and go. And so whether I use that for quiet times and naps, I use it for bedtime and when they can wake up in the morning.
Especially when your kids start potty raining, you know how they wake up super early and they have to go potty. Of course, you're like, of course, I'm going to let you out because you need to pee. I don't want you to pee your pants or pee the bed. That's a bigger mess to clean up.
But what I learned to do is, for our kids, we set the clock to 6:45. They go to bed early, so it's about 12 hours after they've gone to bed. We try to wake up about an hour before that, so it gives us some time. But I put a potty right next to their bed. So if they have to go in the middle of the night or they have to go at 5:00 a.m. or 6:00 a.m., I've taught them to get out of bed, pull your pants down, go to the bathroom, and get back in bed. [00:39:17]
That just kind of saves... sometimes your first reactions in the morning to your kids, if you're not ready for them, you get annoyed so quickly, you know, and it just kind of sets your day off. So for us having those stop clocks and potties... It doesn't mean that they don't come out sometimes, but it sets a great precedent and rhythms and expectations for them. The majority of the time I hear my daughter. Her room's right next to us. A lot of mornings around 5:30, I hear her get up, go potty in her room, and get back in bed for another hour. And I didn't have to talk to her, and that was awesome.
Laura Dugger: That's great. What tips do you have for making sick days more bearable?
Annie Iskandarian: I think just being sick as a mom is just the worst thing ever. I hate being sick. You know, this is the time to not feel guilty about TV. The days where you're so sick and you can't get help. If you can get help and you're really sick, ask for help. Unless I have a super high fever, I'm not necessarily going to be able to get help. [00:40:17]
Activities like Play-Doh, let them play in the bath for a long time, put them in the backyard where everything's enclosed, and just let them play and lay down, those are all great things. And that is the time not to feel guilty about letting them watch two hours of TV. You're just in survival mode. I think it's the time just to let yourself get some rest.
Laura Dugger: What chores do you have each of your toddlers do to help around the house?
Annie Iskandarian: So we are working on them clothing themselves, getting all their clothes on and clothes off. My oldest is just about fully independent. He's four and a half. I have a three year old who can do most of that herself. They still struggle sometimes to get their shirts off. They're definitely good on putting shoes on and taking them off. We have a bin right outside our garage door, so they're responsible for finding their shoes in the bin, putting them on, and taking them off and putting them in the bin.
So I'm really big on no clutter in our home. I have a playroom where the toys are, but the rest of the house, there shouldn't be any kids' clothes, shoes, toys. The rest of the house, I really prefer to have it in a place where if anyone stopped by or we come in, it just feels like a peaceful environment for adults. [00:41:25] And the kids can play and they're welcome to be there. But if there's something out that looks noticeable, they go put it away.
They clean up their plates after their meals. So if I've served them something, they're responsible to go put their plate and cup in the sink. Most of the time I have them get their own water. The two oldest, especially, they're three and four. If we do clean-up time, they'll help with that. And then they're really good about helping me if I need them to go get a diaper or wipes. If I'm changing a baby and I'll say, hey, go run in this room and get me this. And they're good at just helping mommy in that way.
Laura Dugger: How do you train your children to enjoy independent play?
Annie Iskandarian: Well, that stop clock is really helpful that I mentioned earlier. I think sometimes having something visual for them to look at. If you start training them really young, independent play is not so difficult. It kind of depends on when you start.
There's a mantra in that Babywise book that I've really held on to. The principle is begin as you mean to go. So however you start something is how it's probably going to keep going. So if you want your baby to fall asleep without you rocking them to sleep, then teach them to sleep without being rocked. You know, there's all these different things.
Now, I rocked my firstborn until he was eight months old, and then I got pregnant and realized, Oh, I can't do this anymore. So I taught the remaining ones that have come. By two, three months old I've taught them to go to sleep on their own without me rocking them just out of… like for me, it's a necessity. For other women, if your children are really spaced out and you enjoy that time rocking you sleep great. But for me, that was like they're learning independence and I wanted that. [00:42:57]
Even when they're little as babies, take time to let them play in a pack and play or let them play in a playroom where you can look at them, but they don't need you all the time. So I was really big in like if my kids are occupied and playing, I'm not going to interrupt them. I let them play by themselves a lot at home from a very young age. And so they learned to kind of keep themselves occupied.
Then as they get older, if you're starting at like two, three, four years old, and you're just starting to incorporate, something like a stop clock is really helpful. And you can just start in 5, 10-minute increments. You can help them see, Okay, I'm putting you in here when the light's red, and when it's green, you can come out.
And you can start them on activities. A lot of times when you begin, it's help them start building a tower, help them build the racetrack, you know, help them do something in there to keep them busy. Once they get started, a lot of times you play with them for two or three minutes and they're good to go for another 20.
Laura Dugger: How do you get breaks as a stay-at-home mom?
Annie Iskandarian: That's a good question. I've learned how to get it. That independent play is huge. I've learned to really line up schedules with all of my kids. I have the baby sleep in the afternoon from 12 to 3 or 1 to 3. I need that time to rest. I utilize the two hours that the baby's sleeping. That's when I'm going to put older kids on quiet time. Maybe they've had a quiet time for 45 minutes. I might let them go play in the backyard in the sandbox for 20 or 30 minutes. [00:44:17]
But I put them in quiet activities that are not going to require much of me at that time. I'll let them watch an hour of shows, but whatever that whole time the baby's sleeping, I utilize that to occupy the other kids in activities so that I can rest. So sometimes that means me taking a nap. Sometimes that's me sitting with a cup of coffee and just being by myself.
I'm actually very introverted, and so I need that quiet time just to not have to talk to someone. I love working out. I just discovered it's like the best-kept secret for me. I know they're all over the nation is the YMCA. I just heard the best things about it. So we joined our local YMCA and our whole family of six, we go for $100 a month. There's like two hours of childcare every day there. And they just do a phenomenal job.
So I am able to drop my kids off and I go work out for an hour, hour and a half. I go walk on the treadmill or run. I'll lift weights. I might take a class. I'd say at least four days a week, I go do that. And so that gives me a nice break, whether I do that in the morning or if it's been a really long day and I have that stretch hour until dinnertime.
Three to five is like such a hard stretch of time. It just takes everything in me to get the kids loaded in the car and drive to the gym. But once I check them in, it's like, huh. And sometimes I don't even work out. I just go sit at the table and listen to music or call someone. That has been really, really helpful. [00:45:37]
Laura Dugger: Those are some of the most difficult hours. I love that. What are some creative ways you save money, especially because you live in an expensive place on one income supporting six people?
Annie Iskandarian: I don't know if I do the best job being on a budget, but we're learning. We are living within our means. I think that's kind of... we're not in debt, so we're trying to stay within our means. One of the biggest ways that I think we save money is just by eating at home almost every meal. Usually, on the weekends, I love not cooking. So we'll do Chick-fil-A or we'll do In-N-Out Burger with the kids.
But if we do end up getting something for takeout midweek... like if I'm super tired, I'm like, I just need my husband to go pick up food. He'll only pick up food for the two of us. Because I always have go-to things for the kids at home, whether I'm making them quesadillas, or I'm going to heat up Chicken or meatballs or something. I usually have things in the freezer. I can throw in as well to feed them.
I've actually spent a lot of time with my mother-in-law. She's Armenian and she makes incredible Russian Armenian food. So I've spent a lot of time cooking with her. [00:46:41] And the seasons where I've been really pregnant or tired, I've had her come over and we all buy a bunch of groceries and we'll just cook for like four hours at a time and stock up my fridge.
Laura Dugger: I have one final question for you today. But before I ask, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. "Savvy" means practical knowledge or insight. So Annie, what is your savvy sauce?
Annie Iskandarian: You know what? I think my savvy sauce is a mantra. I seek to follow it every day. It's a phrase we've heard before. It's in best practices for business books. It's in a lot of different things. Put first things first. Put what is most important first in your day and get it done. I think that has been the biggest thing that has helped me succeed and get stuff done to thrive in my life, just as a person, as a mom, and as a wife.
An example of putting first things first, we've already touched on it, but as much as I can control it, I try to put God's word in my heart first, in my mind. Because I know if I feed my soul, then when those little kids knock on me, the overflow will be good stuff. [00:47:46]
Another thing I put first. I'm in a season right now where I do go to the gym in the mornings. There's times I go in the afternoons, but right now, that's just one of the first things I do because I just need to take care of my body. So by 9:30, I've put good things in my mind, I've put good things in my body. Even putting first things first looks like preparing your grocery list and getting your meals in order before you say yes to a playdate. It's about priorities. It's about what you say yes to and when you say yes to it.
I think being able to take time and evaluate your capacity, your priorities, and opportunities really gives you good boundaries to make great decisions and it frees you to not live under so much stress. What I've learned from a lot of moms is we feel a lot of pressure to do a lot of things, to have our kids involved in a lot of stuff. And we're supposed to be super moms that can do everything and have dinner on the table in a clean house.
Applying, putting first things first, every day I wake up and I say, "Okay, what are the things I have to get done? Because most likely, I'm not going to get the nice-to-haves done. [00:48:47] But today, it's like, you know what? We must have socks tomorrow because we're all out. So I'm going to do a load of laundry. I put first things first.
Laura Dugger: Well said. Annie, this time has just been such a gift. Thank you for sharing your spiritual gift of leadership with us today as you instructed us on practical ways to passionately pursue God and enjoy this exciting adventure that He's prepared for each one of us uniquely. Your zeal and spiritual fervor is not lacking, and you've inspired each of us today, so thank you.
Annie Iskandarian: Thanks so much, Lord. It's been a joy.
Laura Dugger: One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners and God is perfect and holy, so He cannot be in the presence of sin. Therefore, we're separated from Him.
This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. [00:49:49] So for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only Son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute.
This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus.
We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
So would you pray with me now? [00:50:49] Heavenly, Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change their lives now for eternity. In Jesus name, we pray, amen.
If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him, you get the opportunity to live your life for Him.
At this podcast, we are called Savvy for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you're ready to get started?
First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision my parents took me to Barnes and Noble to get the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. Start by reading the book of John.
Get connected locally, which basically means just tell someone who is part of the church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. [00:51:52] I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.
We want to celebrate with you too. So feel free to leave a comment for us if you made a decision for Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process.
Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.
If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.
Welcome to The Savvy Sauce
Practical chats for intentional living
A faith-based podcast and resources to help you grow closer to Jesus and others. Expect encouragement, surprises, and hope here. Each episode offers lively interviews with fascinating guests such as therapists, authors, non-profit founders, and business leaders.
They share their best practices and savvy tips we can replicate to make our daily life and relationships more enjoyable!
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