47. Relationships and Opportunities that Arise from Using Your Gifts with Founder of Neighbor’s Table, Sarah Harmeyer
Mark 12:30-32 (NIV) “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
**Transcription Below**
Sarah Harmeyer is the founder of Neighbor’s Table, a concept born from her personal passion for gathering people, and her desire to get to know her own neighbors. She has personally witnessed how lives are transformed when people gather around the table and share their stories. Sarah asked her father to build a cedar farmhouse style table big enough to seat 20. They placed it under the oak tree in her backyard in Dallas Texas, dropped chandeliers overhead, and started inviting. Sarah set a goal to serve 500 that year, one dinner party after another. The 500th guest walked up her driveway on Thanksgiving Day. Now five years later, more than 3,000 people have celebrated at the original Neighbor’s Table. The power of community that now regularly happens at the original Neighbor’s Table has spurred a desire to launch a movement – a love mission, if you will. Sarah’s vision is to have tables in backyards across the US, placing them in every state by 2020. Together, Sarah and her father are building more than custom handcrafted tables. They are growing a Neighbor’s Table family nationwide.
Outside of gathering at her own table in Dallas, she loves delivering tables across the country. Sarah loves travel in general, and often journeys to visit friends and to share her story with various groups. When she's not working, Sarah gets weak in the knees for Twizzlers, monogrammed shirts, and her new niece.
Connect with Sarah on social media sites @neighborstable
Thank You to Our Sponsor: Zimmerman Builders, Inc.
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Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
**Transcription**
[00:00:00] <music>
Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
[00:00:16] <music>
Laura Dugger: Today's episode is brought to you by Zimmerman Builders. They are located in Roanoke, Illinois and they serve customers in Woodford, Tazewell, Peoria, and McLean counties. You can find them on the web at ZimmermanBuildersInc.com or on Facebook at Zimmerman Builders INC.
Sarah Harmeyer is a community gatherer and joy bringer. You are going to love this episode as she shares about her journey to become the founder of Neighbors Table. Through stories and practical tips, she's going to leave you feeling inspired to love others by using the gifts God has already given you.
Sarah has hosted over 3,000 people in her backyard in Dallas, Texas, and now she's starting to multiply this vision by building tables for people around the country and delivering them in person. I hope you enjoy our chat.
Welcome to the Savvy Sauce, Sarah.
Sarah Harmeyer: Aw, thanks, Laura. I'm excited to be here. [00:01:23]
Laura Dugger: Excited to have you with us. Let's just start by having you give us a glimpse of your life.
Sarah Harmeyer: A bird's-eye view kind of of my life right now. I'm single in my early 40s living in Dallas, Texas and I have been here for well since 2010. I guess I would call myself a people gatherer. That's probably my identity a bit. I'm the founder and chief people gather of Neighbors Table, a small business that we kind of cheer people on to love their neighbors, and if they need a table to do so, we would love to build them one.
I have a sister and a little niece and her husband live here in Dallas with me. Then my dad calls home on our ranch just south of Austin, Texas. We are Texans through and through. We're really proud of stuff down here. I don't know what, Laura, but are you guys as proud in Illinois as we are down here in Texas?
Laura Dugger: I don't know. I've never met someone with so much state pride as my friends from Texas, so you might win.
Sarah Harmeyer: It is true. It's an interesting thing. [00:02:31]
Laura Dugger: No, it's a great state. I was first introduced to your story through a different podcast that my friend Kara shared with me. I just love your story of starting Neighbors Table. So can you take us back and just share how did you even come up with this idea?
Sarah Harmeyer: Yeah, I moved to Dallas back in 2010. I was kind of at my young professionals career, like a lot of us probably have experienced, Laura. My identity was really wrapped up in my work. And I just had a really great friend and dear couple, a pastor friend of mine, and they both just saw that my identity was really in my work instead of in Christ.
So we spent about three months together on the phone once a week and kind of re-resting my identity back in Christ. I needed someone to come alongside me during that time and kind of reshift my focus. And from that time with them, Eric and Kristen both helped me realize that God made me a people gatherer. [00:03:32]
I really didn't know what that was when they first told me that, but they were like, "Sarah, you just love relationships. You love people. You love sharing your faith in really real ways. They just really encouraged me to think about how I might be a people gatherer in and outside the church.
At the time, I really didn't know, Laura, what that looks like. I didn't know if that was leading a Bible study. I didn't know if it was a book club. I really didn't know how I would gather people. I spent a few months thinking about it, and I just kept thinking back to the very best moments of my life, and they are often around the table.
This is hilarious, but I had a cafe out of my house in grad school, super illegally, and I served lunch three days a week to people that would want to come and eat at my house. I literally would put a mason jar on the table and just say, Pay whatever you want. That was the very best year of my life.
And I thought to myself, "There's something about that year. There's something about getting to serve people. There's something about being creative and putting a meal in front of them. There was something that excited me about seeing people connect over the table. That's what I landed on. I said, that's how I'm going to gather people. I think the table is a really special part of my heart and how I have experienced God and connected with people over that. [00:04:57]
So I have a tiny house in Dallas and kind of a small yard, just a little grassy part. I ended up asking my dad if he'd build me a table big enough to seat 20. That's how I kind of envisioned things. And we put that table outside. It's a gorgeous Table for 20. We put it under my tree back there and hung chandeliers overhead.
I'm very goal-oriented so I wanted a goal to kind of live intentionally into the way God made me. I set a goal to serve 500 people in 2012 around my table just one dinner party after another. And when I started I only knew two of my neighbors. Throughout that year, I invited people and we would celebrate and gather for all different kinds of reasons. But on Thanksgiving Day that year, the 500th guest walked down the driveway. I still can see my dad clapping his hands. And I still remember the single mom walking down the driveway with her aunt squash casserole and her three girls running around her.
It's embedded in my mind now is like the very best year of my life. But I kept going after that first initial year because God just kind of set my heart on fire for other people and I was the first person that was changed from that experience. So I've continued gathering people at my own table. We've had over 3,000 people now and about a year and a half. [00:06:25]
Eric and Kristen called me back and they said, "Sarah, we see God getting a lot of glory around your table. I wonder if He has something outside your own yard." I had no clue what that meant, but the rest is kind of history. And that's when Neighbor's Table came to be.
Laura Dugger: Wow, what an incredible story. And that couple seems like they really had different key moments where they spoke truth into your life. So I love that you mentioned them. You've said before that you give God the glory simply by using your gifts that He's given you, being a community gatherer. So I'm just wondering, how did you discover that gift?
Sarah Harmeyer: You know, there was no magic formula really. I spent a lot of time in prayer. It took several months. It wasn't something that came to me quickly. It might come to others more quickly than it did for me. But in most things, I kind of take my time.
I think Eric and Kristen were surprised that from our time together, that was the thing that I hung on to was like, how can I really live into the way God made me? [00:07:30] For us, my time with them, a lot of the time spent was really learning how to work from a place of rest. That is hard for me. I like to strive and I like to do my best and all this stuff, but really they had shifted to, what if you just worked from the place of resting in who God's already made you to be? I think that's what it feels like when I gather now is I'm just getting to be who God made me to be.
I would say prayer is probably the thing that I hang on to as far as navigating that. I get asked that question a lot. People are curious, like, oh, I want to find my thing. But I would say prayer is the one thing that helped kind of direct me to that. Because when they sent me off, they weren't even saying, Here, I think it's around the table. That was something that I discovered with the Lord of what I think was going to be the way that I could use that gift. [00:08:25]
Laura Dugger: I love that he's so endlessly creative that it may look different for someone listening.
Sarah Harmeyer: Totally.
Laura Dugger: So you said you've been asked that a lot. How do you think someone listening can give God the glory through living out the way they were designed by Him?
Sarah Harmeyer: I think when you have that feeling when you're doing something that time passes and you realize, I can't believe I've been doing that for this long, or that was really fun, or that was really easy and this came really naturally to me, that is the way it feels like for me. There's a lot of joy when I'm gathering. I know for some people it's really stressful and it's a lot more work than maybe how it feels like to me.
Other people are gifted in like teaching. When I have to teach, that's something that’s little more challenging and might have a lot more preparation for me than someone else that might have a natural gift for that. so I think just leaning into and really listening to how God's made us, I think is my best advice. [00:09:31]
It's a good thing to ask your friends that know you well and just say, Hey, what do you think? How do you think God has given me strengths? Or where do you see that? If you can't, you know, reflect yourself, maybe ask the people around you.
Laura Dugger: Oh, that's great. Reflection, prayer, and even conversation or intentional questions.
Sarah Harmeyer: Yes.
Laura Dugger: Well, even looking at a really practical side, you said that you're still hosting people. So who do you choose to invite and how do you reach out to invite them?
Sarah Harmeyer: You know, my motto quickly became the more the merrier. When I started, I didn't even know 500 people in Dallas. So it quickly became everyone that I invited could bring a friend or a co-worker or anybody with them.
I think it's a tendency for us to think about our guests and think about like, Oh, are they going to connect with each other or are they going to have similarities to each other? What I found, Laura, is that when we set the stage for our guests to feel like they're safe and that they could share who God made them to be in a safe environment, really, really good things can happen at the table. [00:10:42]
So it is a beautiful mix of people at my table, whether that's me checking out the grocery line with a whole basket of groceries for the night off, and someone goes, Oh, are you having a party tonight? And I'll go, why, yes, I am. Would you like to come? And I'll ask the guy that's packing my groceries. Some of those guys have come here before or a plumber that's worked in my home has showed up and my neighbors, of course, have come down, or my co-workers or just anybody.
I always listen for the opportunities to invite people. And there has been all kinds of people at my table. That's kind of how I like to gather.
Laura Dugger: And was that a cultivated skill? Because you've said before you're an introvert and sometimes that's not natural for everyone just to verbally invite somebody that they just met that day.
Sarah Harmeyer: I think I'm curious. I'm curious about people and I genuinely want to know people. So being an introvert, I like to have really good conversations with people. [00:11:46] I know extroverts could have a big loud party and it just be the best thing ever.
Well, if I don't walk away with having a really good conversation with at least a couple people that night, it doesn't feel like how I want to experience the table with people. I think we each bring our own personality to the table (no pun intended) but I think I'm curious. I think that's the thing that doesn't hold me back.
God has really given me peace about having all different kinds of people in my home, people that might not share the same faith or race or sexual orientation or all the things that make us different. And that they are literally my neighbors in my neighborhood and people in my community.
I feel like we all have something to learn from each other. And I think through relationship as Christians, we get the opportunities to share what's made a difference in our life and how the Lord has changed our life. [00:12:49] I think a table is a really real way to do that.
Laura Dugger: I think it's so admirable, the way that you do it. I am curious, because you're so good at initiating and inviting and hosting, do you get invited back other places? And do you ever feel left out if people don't include you?
Sarah Harmeyer: You know, Laura, I honestly don't even think about it. I have had that question asked before because I think that's a natural thing that we feel like if we give, there's a take, we get paybacks. If someone invites us, then we should invite them and that sort of thing. I don't know.
I think I gave up keeping score a long time and that would be my advice for others to do. If God's called you to be a people gatherer, that's what he's called you to do. He might bless you in another way with another friend that has a gift and might show up and do something for you. But I don't have those expectations. Is it a blast when I get invited to other people's homes? Absolutely. [00:13:53]
I don't know if it's a Dallas thing, maybe you see this more in the Midwest, but I am seeing less and less people actually have people to their homes. You know, our parents' age and our grandparents' age, they really grew up in a culture where the table was really important and having people in our homes was a real value.
I think we have added so much into our daily lives now that oftentimes... I find it as a rarity to have people in our homes. I don't know if Pinterest has just ruined us or if we just have expectations that our homes have to be perfect before we have people in it. I want to encourage people just to push back towards that.
Honestly, if you think about going over to someone's home, you're not looking at their baseboards. You're not looking to see if they have cobwebs in their chandelier or whatever. You're there to engage with the people right in front of you. And that's the same when people come to your home as well. [00:14:57]
I like to encourage that because I love to gather. I don't feel like I'm missing out if I don't get invited. Like I'm gathering with people so intentionally and so often that it is a real joy. And I don't feel like I've missed out on that just because that's who I am. And I know not everyone else is comfortable with that.
I try to make, when we do gather, a real relaxed environment so maybe others would be encouraged to do that. But that's what I'm seeing. I would say I've done a pretty good job of that up until this year. This year I've been traveling more as my business has grown.
I don't think I've shared, but we now build tables for other people. And that's what my business is called Neighbor's Table. I physically like to deliver the tables myself when we make them. And I travel the country now delivering tables. I get to have meals, the first meal with so many families around their new table. [00:15:55] I'm not so much gathering around my own table as much as I used to, but I'm getting to do that and kind of multiply out and just meeting some amazing families that are gathering around their table.
So oftentimes my friends don't even know when I'm in town, so I have to wave at them when I get back and say, Okay, I'm back in town for a couple of days, let's get together. Sometimes it's just a cup of coffee somewhere. So there's seasons. You might have young moms listening right now and you know that your season looks different. I think I've kind of have a season right now.
Laura Dugger: Your answers are so seasoned with grace, which I appreciate. And now a brief message from our sponsor.
Sponsor: I want to say thank you to today's sponsor, Zimmerman Builders. Zimmerman Builders is based out of Roanoke, Illinois and they've been operating for 25 years. Dennis Zimmerman and his team started with a bedroom remodeling project and they've grown to now building custom homes in Woodford, Tazewell, Peoria, and McLean counties. [00:16:57]
They also specialize in interior room remodeling, such as kitchen and bath, as well as exterior projects like decks and outdoor rooms. Dennis actually did our personal kitchen remodel, and we couldn't be happier. Do you have a siding or roof project you'd like a quote on? They'd be happy to accommodate you in whatever home improvement project you're thinking about, whether it's window replacements or building your dream home. They also have experience in commercial renovations.
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Contact them today via their webpage at ZimmermanBuildersInc.com or through their Facebook page under Zimmerman Builders Inc. That's Z-I-M-M-E-R-M-A-N Builders I-N-C. Give Dennis a call today and let him put Zimmerman Builders' 25 years of experience to work for you. Thanks for your sponsorship. [00:18:07]
Laura Dugger: And if you're interested in sponsoring The Savvy Sauce, we would love to hear from you. Make sure you reach out to us. You can email us at info at thesavvysauce.com.
You said you love this multiplying effect. So let's really boil it down to some practical things. If someone listening does want to open their home or their backyard and host, do you have any certain recipes that work best for a group?
Sarah Harmeyer: You know, the best recipe is one that someone else makes. And I am dead serious about that. To me, food is ancillary. It's like the extra layer to something that's already good. I want to encourage people, people is what gathering is about. And when you make your gathering about people, it doesn't matter if you're serving pizza you ordered from down the street. It doesn't matter if you rolled out your best beef tenderloin. It doesn't matter if you pulled off a garden recipe. It really doesn't matter. [00:19:10] I know that's surprising Laura.
There's gonna be listeners that are really exceptional at cooking and actually the way that they honor their guests is to make a really incredible meal. But if you're not wired like that... and I would say I cook so I can gather, but I try not to worry a lot about the food.
There's this magic word, three letters: Yes. So when someone says, Can I bring something, my encouragement is to always say yes. So if you like to create an environment and a menu and you've got something in mind, give them something specific. I'd love for you to bring a dessert that's chocolate or, you know, would you bring black beans for 18? It'll make sense when you get here. Things like that.
As far as best recipe, that is my advice is let other people help you because you'll probably find that you'll gather more often when other people are helping. So that's my recipe tip.
Laura Dugger: That's great. And not an answer I was expecting. So that's really fun.
Sarah Harmeyer: Right. [00:20:14]
Laura Dugger: So if all these people are pitching in, I would also think that would help you maintain a budget. So can you give us a realistic budget for somebody who wants to start entertaining more?
Sarah Harmeyer: Yeah. I heard that a lot early on is, oh, I would have people over if I could just afford to feed 10 or 20 people. Honestly, you know how many people your home can accommodate and what that looks like.
I'll tell you, after that first year of gathering 500, I wanted to prove that anyone could gather on any sort of budget. And that's truly where I want people to land, is like, what is your budget? Do you need to set something?
So that second year that I gathered, I served another 500 people on just $75 a month. Now that first year I was spending probably three or four times that much on every meal. I was just loving the creative side and wanting to cook all these fabulous meals.
But like I just shared like when people ask if they can bring something I truly say yes. And I ask them to bring something. So on that budget of just $75 a month, there would be some nights where I literally would just provide the ice on the table. [00:21:28] It could be something so easy as you provide the protein or the main dish and you have people bring sides or something like that. But it was so cute.
The very last month of that year, I had a little Bible study group of older women send me a grocery gift card for $75. And they said, "finish strong, Sarah. We're cheering you on." So it's a discipline. And I think it's something to think about.
Gathering doesn't always have to be for a full meal. So I've had an adult party here where it was pizza and popsicles one summer night. It was something very simple, and someone else brought something. I had a cheese board night where everyone brought something to put on the cheese board.
I've got an 18-year-old outside Atlanta that's in our neighbor's table family. Her family has a table and she has cereal night with all of her friends and all they do is put boxes of cereal and milk out and they have cereal. So I think food is just kind of the thing that draws us because we all like to eat, but it could be popcorn and cokes one night too. I don't want people to get stuck on "what will I serve?".
Laura Dugger: I love that permission to just think outside the box. Okay, so we've covered some of those practicals of finances and the food. What about different roles that people can play? Do you assign any roles to your guests? [00:22:48]
Sarah Harmeyer: I'm really big about inviting people in to create the experience together. I think a lot of times as hosts, we think we have to do everything. I even admit that before we sit down, I like to go around and introduce people and tell them what I love about them before we even sit down. Everyone sits down confident then.
One of the things I say, I said I want to invite you into this experience. Like we get to create what this evening looks like and what we want it to be. So offer a few suggestions just in general. Like, I'd love for us to be more listening than talking tonight. It kind of makes people think like, Oh, what does she mean by that? Well, really it means that I want to create a space for people to share, but also from a place of respect.
You might think differently or you might be hearing something someone grew up in a different way than you and instead of thinking, Okay, what am I gonna say to combat this?, like what if we just left space for people to talk and you get to listen to them?
One of the things we do is we eat family style. So I love the awkward passing of a tray and tongs as people are navigating things. I think doing things together like that. I say if you see water glasses low, feel free to jump up and fill water glasses. If you see us bring in dessert out of the kitchen, jump up and we'd love for you to help. Or if you want to clear plates and fill the dishwasher, we would love that. [00:24:19]
And I will tell you, Laura, I don't remember the last time I filled my dishwasher. Everyone is in when you give them a little suggestion like that. A lot of times I'll even say, You know, I love celebrating at the table. And so at any point in the night you would like to give a toast, I would love for anyone to jump up and give a toast. There's been some nights where we've had eight or nine different toasts throughout the meal and it was so fun.
I think inviting people in and just kind of tossing it out like that. Here's something, would anyone like to say the blessing tonight? Or would anyone like to clear plates or whatever? Right now we're out of them but on our website, neighborstable.com, we've got these table tokens, and it's actually a set of ten tokens that have little jobs like that that I just share ideas that you can give. And you can give them away as people come or you can hide them under their plate and it's just a little wooden coin that gives people a suggestion of how they might be able to participate in the evening. But I think it's fun to invite people and be a part of everything. [00:25:23]
Laura Dugger: I think that's so fun. And the table tokens would be good for any age. Anybody can participate.
Sarah Harmeyer: Oh, man. Moms love it. They're like, my kids have never wanted to do something at the table. They'll try to trade their tokens before the meal because they didn't want to help with dishes or whatever. So I think it's been helpful in lots of different ways.
Laura Dugger: Oh, definitely. Well, do you have any other practical tips like that to share?
Sarah Harmeyer: Yeah, I think the biggest one is really thinking about who is around the table than what's on the table. I think that is not a natural thing for us women. Men might be better at this. I don't know. We're still kind of learning that as women, I feel like.
I say make parties about people. That's my biggest suggestion. I love doing place cards. That's something simple that I can just cut index cards and fold them over and take a sharpie and write their name. I love being prayerful about where people sit. [00:26:24]
I might have a bunch of random people coming, but I also want to ask the Lord, who would you want to sit by who and who might you place in each other's lives this night that might need a connection or they might need someone that sits by them that's good with conversation if they're a little more shy or something like that.
So place cards. I think it's something simple. And it also kind of takes away that, oh gosh, I'm new here. Where am I going to sit that junior high walk into a cafeteria tray feeling, you know? That's what I say. I said, I've been preparing a place for you. I kind of speak words that Jesus might for us. Like, I've been preparing a place today, I've been thinking about you all day and I'm so excited each of you are here and you'll find your name at the table. So it's something that simple and it kind of takes the pressure off of who am I going to connect with and who am I going to sit with.
By introducing people ahead of time it also gives them a little something to get started on as far as conversation goes.
Laura Dugger: I love all of that. Like you said, such simple ways, but it can be so powerful to the guest. [00:27:32]
Sarah Harmeyer: Yeah.
Laura Dugger: So through all of your conversations with people around Neighbor's Table then, do you hear any type of common thread for excuses why some people say that they can't toast?
Sarah Harmeyer: You know, I think the things I hear are, my house isn't big enough, my house isn't clean, I'm not good at cooking, I'm kind of shy, I don't know if I can have people in my home. I hear a lot. Like maybe their partner is maybe an introvert and they're an extrovert and they're not sure if they'll want to have guests over or things like that.
I think all of those things are valid concerns and I think probably all of those have crossed all of our minds at some point. But I will tell you, after my experience of gathering, I struggled with some of those things early on. I remember having a gathering over Mother's Day, and I'd invited some of my friends and their moms to my table. I was nervous to host some of these moms. They are kind of socialites in Dallas and are used to fine china and pretty homes. [00:28:41]
I started worrying like, Oh my gosh, we're sitting at my rustic backyard table and there's the chain link fence behind them and we drink out of mason jars. I started having all these concerns that a lot of us have and a good friend of mine looked at me and she said, "Sarah, what if you create an experience so different from what they have ever experienced in these other parties or these other homes." And she goes, "I dare you to serve pizza that night."
And Laura, I thought she was crazy. I was like, "I cannot serve pizza to socialites." She goes, "I dare you." You know what? I served pizza that night. And the way that I set it up, I said, remember when we were little girls, and we would sit around the pizza box, and we would tell stories, and we would laugh. I want us to be little girls again. So I set the scene. Every single one of those women ate pizza that night.
At one point, one lady was like, I feel like I'm in Napa Valley. And I was like, maybe Napa Alley because my alleyway is right there. It was hilarious. These women had the best time. [00:29:46] And it wasn't something I've gotten hung up on that my house isn't nice enough or I'm not going to be able to even make a nice enough meal or serve, you know, the best something. I just kind of gave that up. I think I just needed that urge from a friend that says, don't worry about it. That's really not what matters. So it was a good lesson early on.
Laura Dugger: That's great. And maybe this conversation right now that somebody is hearing is that encouragement just to press on and know that the Lord is going to use this really to bless those people who are coming and hopefully to bless you as the host, too.
Sarah Harmeyer: Yes. I'm the first person that's been really changed by everyone that's walked down my driveway and has sat at my table. I feel like I'm living a different story because of all the little stories that have been added to this table. So it's good. I think we all have a lot to learn from each other. So I would cheer people on. Don't be afraid. Gather people. All the things don't matter as much as we think they do.
Laura Dugger: Oh, so true. Did you know that we save some of our best content for our patrons? You can access these secret podcasts by visiting thesavvysauce.com and clicking on our "Patreon" tab. [00:31:02] For example, you can hear my exclusive interview with Alex Butchko, a Disney cast member who shares some business principles and life applications behind the magic and success of Disney. You can also hear bonus content from internationally known speaker Debbie Titus, along with many other experts.
This is all available to you for a minimum of $5 per month. In addition to all these monthly bonus episodes, you will also have access to all of our free downloadable scripture cards, beautifully crafted by Angela at Jars of Grace. We hope you consider joining the club today.
Are there any mishaps or dinner parties that have fallen flat that you've experienced before or learned from?
Sarah Harmeyer: You know, I feel like I'm always learning. I always joke with myself that if any time there's like a royal screw-up in the kitchen, there's always McDonald's and cheeseburgers down the street. I've yet to have to go run and get cheeseburgers. But it makes me feel comfortable knowing there's always a backup plan if I royally screw up. [00:32:07]
We had a weather issue one Easter that is still in my nightmare of memories. We had 38 people here that day and a lot of them I didn't know. It looked cloudy, Laura, but I was like, Surely it's not going to rain on Easter. And it wasn't like I could just cancel it because it was Easter. I wanted to serve Easter brunch at my table. And literally, as we got our plates full of food, the clouds unleashed and people just ran. And I have a tiny house. There was no way 38 people were fitting in my home. So some people ran inside, some ran under the carport. It was just like this mad dash with our plates of food.
We ended up having Easter brunch under the carport that day and we pulled tables over and it was quite a memory. I still remember some of the people that were there and the corn casserole that I sent home with one gentleman that just absolutely loved it.
Sometimes the mishaps can become some of the best memories and oftentimes they're really out of our control. So that's my encouragement. [00:33:13] If there is some unruly thing that happens, it's easy to be flexible. It might not be easy to be flexible but I would say that's a good thing to choose when not everything is under your control.
Laura Dugger: I love that flexibility. Something else that strikes me, Sarah, is during that experience on Easter, people didn't run home. They still wanted to be together, so they don't even care if it's under a carport where they're gathering. I love that story. Do you have any other favorite stories or friendships that were birthed out of this whole movement for Neighbor's Table?
Sarah Harmeyer: Oh man, I have a file cabinet full of stories. I feel like every night someone just wedges their way into my heart and each other's lives. And I think that's the coolest thing about connection and around the table. Like at the heart of all of us is connection.
I had one Christmas, a neighbor reached out and Lee said in his email, like, "Sarah, my son and I's plans fell through for Christmas, and I know sometimes your table is the place where someone that doesn't have a place can come. I wonder if you're having an orphan Christmas this year." And I was like, "Oh my gosh, well yeah, now that you put it that way, we're for sure having an orphan Christmas, so come on, come join us." [00:34:35]
But the cool thing was, I never told Lee that my table is a place for people that don't have a place. I love that somehow he gathered that about my table. He offered to bring the smoked turkey that year, and he and his son came over. A couple of weeks prior, I said, "Would it be okay if we opened our table on Christmas to other neighbors that might need a place on Christmas?" And he agreed, that would be great. I had nine gentlemen from my neighborhood come that day for lunch, and I had not met any of them except Lee and his son.
And you know, people that are showing up to a stranger's home on Christmas, they needed a place. I still remember sitting down around this table, and I've got these five-foot-tall letters that spell love. L-O-V-E along my fence is like a ginormous reminder of what I wanted to do with my neighbors. And this guy, Russ, in the middle of a meal we're talking about nothing and he pointed over at those letters and I saw kind of these tears welling up in his eyes. and I looked at him across the table and he goes, "That's what it feels like here. It feels like love." [00:35:44]
I think when we love Jesus and we become the light because He is the light in us, people are drawn to that. And if anything, people kind of go, what is different about this place? I know Sarah prayed before the meal, I know some of the conversations were a little different than I normally experience. I love that that is the first thing that kind of sparks people's interest.
I have seen families from the west coast all the way over to the east coast literally love the people right next to them because they have a table and they know intentionally that is what they're doing.
There's this great guy in Tulsa, Oklahoma, Dane, and he was turning 30. And for his 30th birthday, he wanted a neighbor's table for his backyard. And Dane's been intentional for a long time about walking his neighborhood and asking people their names and saying, "Hey, I love to pray. Is there anything I can pray for you about?" And literally praying for his neighbors.
And he said he wanted to have a table where he could bring people together and he and his wife could just love their neighbors. I got to share a meal like so many of the deliveries I get to do. [00:36:58] One of the first things that Dana and Anna wanted to do was share the Lord's Supper at that table. He invited the guests that were around his table that were good friends of his, and he invited them to offer the body and the blood to each other.
And it was so cool, just to like every day, kind of casual way that we do that. And it was stuff like, "Hey, Jesus loves you and He died for you and He shed his blood for you. And this is for you, man. It was beautiful to see the way people use their own language to offer that to the person next to them.
There's families that are just everyday families that are doing incredible things just because they're loving people, like inviting their sixth-grade class, their new boys that are to their classroom over for dinner and letting all the boys connect before the school year starts, or gathering people, the really creative people that I just love seeing that are just incredible.
The themes that they come up with are crazy. And I'm just like, wow, God has made you so creative. [00:38:05] I saw an island one night where they had grass skirt people dancing and they had made this cabana over their table. And I was like, wow, that is incredible. But it's everyday people that are just crazy about others and want to actually love people.
So there's been some beautiful guests at my table that have blessed me and our conversations and I've learned so much from them. There's been tender moments. I served sandwiches between a funeral and a burial for a 29-year-old one afternoon and just had a place for her friends to gather before they went to bury her. It was simple things like that.
Sometimes you just reach out in a moment of empathy and say, "Hey, I'd love to gather people." We've celebrated weddings here. I've hosted a wedding rehearsal dinner for two people. One gentleman was from Ireland and he had been to my table before and he said, we would love to have a rehearsal dinner at your backyard. And I was like, oh my goodness. Laura, you should have heard these amazing Irish accents and giving toasts and just laughter and fun. [00:39:18]
There's been so many moments of celebration too around the table. But it truly is the everyday moments of just saying, let's gather, let's connect. Let's slow down a bit. A lot of times I'll just say, you know, leave whatever you've experienced this day at the end of the driveway. And maybe what we can create together in the next couple of hours will be different and rich to end your day with.
So I could go on and on and on with stories. There are some beautiful people serving people. There's people growing food in a garden for their neighborhood and taking food to the elderly people and their tables in their neighborhood park and that's where they gather with people. There's story after story of families that want to be intentional about watching their grandkids grow up around the table. And so they have a big family and that's what they wanted their table for is to love and invest in their own family.
I always encourage people to start with the people closest to you, whether that's your family or the people right next door to you, and go from there. [00:40:27] It's an adventure when you say yes to this.
Laura Dugger: It sounds like an adventure. These stories are amazing. And I'm just blown away by all of the opportunities and the relationships that you've been introduced to just through hosting. It's incredible.
Sarah Harmeyer: Yeah.
Laura Dugger: I also love that you said you try and personally deliver these tables and then share a meal. So, if you've piqued someone's interest and they want to find out how they can purchase their own table, can you share where they could find you online?
Sarah Harmeyer: Yeah. I'm on social media at Neighbor's Table. We have a website, neighborstable.com. Even on our website, we've got a little thing you can click on that says "Get Started". And it kind of tells our story, which a lot of it I've shared here today. But there's actually a page called "Tables" and you can look at the measurements. We kind of have a standard size of a table for 10 but if you've got a smaller space or want us to custom that, we do that for free as well. [00:41:30] So if you've got a smaller patio and you need a little one more narrow or a little shorter, we'd love to do that.
There's an inquiry form on our website. We don't have a click-to-purchase kind of thing, because it's really all about people. So we want to hear from you if you're interested, and we'll be sure to give you all the details and then arrange a time for delivery. We always ask for a picture of the family, which is something so personal, and it's an optional thing. But we love seeing who we're building for. We say it's made with love. Hopefully, it's delivered with love. I just feel like I'm meeting the very, very best people in the country as I travel.
So I feel like they're made like me, which is amazing thing to just look at people and actually learn from others. And I'm so blown away by some people. I am always in the learning posture of taking notes from the people I meet.
So my dream is to have our tables in every state by 2020, Laura. We're in 30 states so far, which is crazy. I would have never guessed anyone outside my own neighborhood would know about Neighbor's Table. So we are eager to spread the love literally around the country.
Laura Dugger: Well, we will do our part to share this good news and we'll link to all those in the show notes. I would love to hear what is your vision from here?
Sarah Harmeyer: I just want to see more people loving people around them. And I think when we do that, we really honor God and we love God in the meantime. Because God as the creator has created every single human being, even the crazy neighbor down the street that might be a lot different than us.
There's something that we take a different posture when we open our home or we open our table to others. There's a vulnerability to love. There's a vulnerability inviting people in. But what I have learned is there is blessings tenfold when we do that. So this sounds so idealist, but I just want to see more love in the world.
I had an executive ask me that a couple months ago. He's like, Sarah, what is really the goal at Neighbor's Table? And I was like, I don't know. I just want to see people love each other. I want to see more connection. I don't know if you can tell, we could use a lot more of that in our world today. If I can be a small cheerleader with little pom-poms to cheer people on to do that, and if they need a table and need a place to kind of call their home base, Dad and I would just love and be so tickled to provide a table for them. [00:44:08]
Laura Dugger: I think that's a very worthwhile vision. I love to ask just one same question every episode. Our podcast is called The Savvy Sauce because "savvy" means practical knowledge or insight. We just want to know your most beneficial practical habits. So as my final question for you today, Sarah, what is your savvy sauce?
Sarah Harmeyer: Savvy sauce. I love that. It's a great name. I think this is something really practical and I cannot get it out of my head. Years ago, I heard the motto at Ritz Carlton, so just top-of-the-line hotel and the way that they serve people. Their motto is, we are ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen. And I have not forgotten that. Because I think when we think about ourselves as being the kind of person that loves God would honor the people that are around us. I love that quote. So we are ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen. [00:45:07]
And maybe something savvy as far as just a fun little quip is, always accept a mint when it's offered to you. I think that's a good word of advice, and we'll keep us savvy on our toes. When someone offers, we should always take one.
Laura Dugger: I love it. Those are wonderful savvy tips. Sarah, you're just so fun to spend time with. So thank you for using your God-given gifts to love others and ultimately to serve God. I really appreciate the inspiration that you've provided for all of us today. So thanks for being my guest.
Sarah Harmeyer: Oh, well, thanks for having me. Thanks for using your gifts and bringing conversations to people and getting us all to think about things maybe that aren't always coming to our mind, but something that we could all use a little guidance for. So I am still on the pathway of learning myself, so we can all learn together. And thanks, Laura, for having me.
Laura Dugger: Oh, it's been my pleasure. [00:46:06]
One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners and God is perfect and holy, so He cannot be in the presence of sin. Therefore, we're separated from Him.
This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only Son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute.
This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. [00:47:11]
We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
So would you pray with me now? Heavenly, Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change their lives now for eternity. In Jesus name, we pray, amen.
If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him, you get the opportunity to live your life for Him.
At this podcast, we are called Savvy for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you're ready to get started? [00:48:13]
First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision my parents took me to Barnes and Noble to get the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. Start by reading the book of John.
Get connected locally, which basically means just tell someone who is part of the church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.
We want to celebrate with you too. So feel free to leave a comment for us if you made a decision for Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process.
Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.
If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. [00:49:16] You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.
Welcome to The Savvy Sauce
Practical chats for intentional living
A faith-based podcast and resources to help you grow closer to Jesus and others. Expect encouragement, surprises, and hope here. Each episode offers lively interviews with fascinating guests such as therapists, authors, non-profit founders, and business leaders.
They share their best practices and savvy tips we can replicate to make our daily life and relationships more enjoyable!
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