178. Fresh Take on Hospitality with Jaime Farrell
Romans 12:13 (ESV) "Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality."
**Transcription Below**
Questions and Topics We Discuss:
What is your personal process (including practical and replicable suggestions) for making hosting a reality?
Do you ever have a stinky attitude about hosting?
How do you actually involve your kids in the process?
Jaime Farrell is first of all, a beloved of her Lord. She is also wife to Jonathan, and mother to Jorja, Jolie, Jemma, and Job. Once her children were school aged, she returned to working as a teacher in her local community. She can be reached on Facebook and she would also love to invite you to sit with her at church! Find out more about the church where her family attends and her husband serves as Lead Pastor at gracemorton.org.
Links to Everything Mentioned in Today's Episode:
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Sample of Games:
Wits and Wagers Family Edition
Websites:
Books:
When People are Big and God is Small
The Gospel Comes with a House Ke
Recipes:
Other Savvy Sauce Episodes Related to Hospitality:
The Supernatural Power Present While Gathering at the Table with Devi Titus
Ideas for Meaningful Holiday Traditions with Mentor, Shawn Mazelin
The Story of Six Sisters' Stuff
Experiencing Joy, Connection, and Nourishment at the Table with Abby Turner
Patreon 12 Mentoring and Hospitality with Mentor, Shawn Mazelin
Patreon 37 Your Hospitality Personality with Morgan Tyree
Hospitality Related Articles:
Thank You to Our Sponsor: Midwest Food Bank
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
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Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
**Transcription**
[00:00:00] <Music>
Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
[00:00:18] <music>
Laura Dugger: Thank you to an anonymous donor to Midwest Food Bank who paid this sponsorship fee in hopes of spreading awareness. Learn more about this amazing nonprofit organization at midwestfoodbank.org.
I'm so happy to get to introduce you to today's guest and one of my dearest friends, Jaime Farrell. I've wanted to ask Jaime on The Savvy Sauce for a long time now because she lives her life in such an admirable way and she's a very joyful and energetic teacher.
Once all of her kids became school-age, she did return to work as a teacher. But her gift of teaching also comes out in other areas, such as at church or gathering small groups together. And now she's going to teach us all about hospitality.
Here's our chat.
Welcome to the savvy thoughts, Jaime. [00:01:20]
Jaime Farrell: Thanks so much for having me. This is such a joy.
Laura Dugger: Will you just start by giving us an overview of who you are and what you love to do?
Jaime Farrell: Sure. Hi, my name is Jaime Farrell, and above all, I am a beloved of Jesus. I am saved by Him and a follower of His. And then I'm also wife to Jonathan, who's a pastor at Grace Church in Morton, Illinois, and I'm mom to four kids that start with J: Jorja, Jolie, Jemma, and Job. I love to play games. I love to teach and I love to be warm, which makes living in Illinois sometimes tricky.
Laura Dugger: I love it. As you're sitting here with your hot water, that is very true. But you were always up for hosting families or couples or kids. And I hear about you and your cousin Shalom providing these huge meals for teachers. Anytime we're getting together, I know that you just always are going to show up with yummy treats. So when I think of the topic of hospitality, I totally picture you. [00:02:21] Where did this love of hospitality originate?
Jaime Farrell: Well, goodness, it's really humbling that you think of me because truly I know so many people who do this really well, yourself included, my friend Laura. So that is a conversation that I feel like we could have with multiple people.
I would say for me, specifically, loving hospitality originated from it being modeled to me. My parents, specifically my mom, just did this really well. My mom's been a caregiver her whole life. She lost her dad to a brain aneurysm at 12, and then at 15, her mom got hit by a drunk driver, which resulted in a brain injury. So her mom had to learn everything at that time and was truly never the same. [00:03:06]
So my mom was the middle of eight kids with the youngest two being handicapped. So from when she was 15 on, she was caring for people. And that just kind of flowed into her home as an adult. So because of these life experiences, my mom knew how to cook for a big crowd. She knew how to be okay with the chaos of a crowd. She knew how to have an open-door policy and almost expect the unexpected.
So I saw her bring people meals growing up. I saw her have people time and time again. We would welcome missionaries or guests into our home. She would always host the holidays because she had been cooking those meals since she was 15. And then she would consistently say yes to my friends coming over.
She just extended warmth to people at church. Like, I saw her greet people at church. And then I remember often her talking to people on the phone back when talking on the phone was a thing. So she would call them. So that example just kind of really paved the way for me to consider hospitality as normal and just part of life. [00:04:06]
But even though I had that beautiful motto, I would say there's still growth for me in hospitality because it looks so different for us in different stages. I've come into what hospitality looks like for me rather than what hospitality looks like for even my mom. My mom sets a beautiful table. And she's even done a couple of weddings. She just makes incredible food. I feel like she's more of a chef and I'm more of a cook. I'm more like a paper plate person. I would be very satisfied if I just bought you some pizza. So very different from my mom.
But to be honest, I think our natural bent as sinners is that we wouldn't choose to serve or consider others. So I believe that if we've been challenged by Jesus, then we're all growing in hospitality in some way, because I think that's fruit of Him that you would even consider others.
Laura Dugger: I love how you bring it back to Jesus because it just makes me think it was only a few days that the Lord created the earth. And how long has He been preparing a place for us in eternity? [00:05:07] And you're right, He's the one that fills us for this. But let's even back it up for just a moment. Can you just define hospitality for us and maybe share your favorite biblical inspiration for hospitality?
Jaime Farrell: Yeah. So I actually looked up hospitality in the dictionary. And it is the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, and strangers. I actually thought that secular definition was so good. And just pulling apart those words, friendly I think of as warm and being a gatherer; generous, lavishing or pouring out; and then there's the word reception, welcoming, receiving people; and then entertainment, just enjoying each other, whether guests, visitors or strangers.
And again, that's a secular definition, right? But it's actually very much rooted in scripture. So hospitality, being friendly and generous, welcoming and enjoying guests, visitors, and strangers is just truly replete in scripture. [00:06:13] It is all over. So I'm just going to share some verses that when I think of hospitality, I think of these verses.
Romans 12:13 says to contribute to the needs of the saints and to pursue hospitality. Hebrews 13:1-2 says, "Brotherly love must continue. Do not neglect hospitality because through it some have entertained angels without knowing it."
1 Peter 4:7-9, "For the culmination of all things that is near. Come Lord Jesus. So be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of prayer. Above all, keep your love for one another fervent because love covers a multitude of sins." And then we often say that verse, but verse 9 comes right after it, which says, "Show hospitality to one another without complaining."
1 Timothy 3:2, "The overseer then must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable and an able teacher." [00:07:13] And we think of that in terms with my husband being a pastor. We believe that hospitality is something that we should practice as a family because he is an overseer.
Matthew 25:34-40, this is a parable that Jesus was talking about. And it says, "Then the king will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave me food. I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me in. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.' Then these righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you as stranger and invited you in? Or naked and clothed you? When did we see you sick or in prison or visit you?' And the King will answer them, 'I tell you the truth, just as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers or sisters of mine, you did it for me!'" [00:08:12]
So practicing hospitality is practicing loving Jesus well. Honestly, really the more we understand the depth of God's grace to us personally, the more we're willing and ready to show that depth of grace to others. And I really believe that can be done through hospitality.
Hospitality it's just reflecting the gospel work in our lives. Jesus invited us in, so we should be willing to invite anyone in. Jesus lavishly gave to us, so we should lavishly give to others.
Laura Dugger: Jaime, that is incredible. I feel like you've made such an amazing case because the Lord has made such an amazing case for hospitality in Scripture. So even with all of that knowledge, what are some roadblocks that you see for others resisting the call to hospitality?
Jaime Farrell: I think there's several. You know, time, money, attitude, life stage. I want to be honest that I've struggled with all of these at one point or another. [00:09:11] But it feels like we typically will say we don't have enough time or we don't have enough money, or we're introverts, or homebodies, or we have little kids or we're old and we're tired. There's tons of excuses that I have personally thought of and plenty that I've sinfully and sadly used.
I think so often our no's to hospitality, at least for me, are because our expectations are wrong. We may wrongly think that we need to have hours in order to practice hospitality or we have to have gobs of money in order to practice hospitality. We may think we need to actually entertain rather than be hospitable. Or we just may feel inadequate and that others will step in and take it on for us.
But practicing hospitality is so broad and us keeping it to certain boundaries just really can stifle it. It really can be practiced over McDonald's coffee or peanut butter and jelly or no food at all. It can happen in an untidy house or at the neighborhood pool or even a plastic pool in the backyard. [00:10:11] It can be inviting another family to sled with you. That's a freebies activity. Whenever we invite someone into our life for the good of their body and soul. We're practicing hospitality.
I listened to a podcast on hospitality recently, and one of the hosts had said, Focus on people, not the formula. And I think that's so true. If we focus on the who, not the how or the what, we will feel the freedom to practice hospitality.
Another just more practical thought in that would be to look to say yes. So if you're struggling to practice hospitality, look for ways that you can say yes. And in this context, this might seem not quite right at all. But as my mom was talking to me about enjoying intimacy with my husband as a newlywed, she had challenged me to, instead of saying a flat-out no to his advances, to consider just changing my language and saying, "I'm not in the mood right now, but I'm willing to have you try to get me there." [00:11:10]
And I would just challenge those who are resistant to hospitality to instead of considering saying a hard no, just saying to yourself, it may be uncomfortable, I may not choose it, I may feel inadequate, but I'm willing to offer the Lord what I have and I'll see what you do, Lord. So instead of giving just a flat-out no, why don't you just see what God could do?
Laura Dugger: I love that. And just a simple prayer to Him. Like it's a no in my mind right now but can you help convince me otherwise? So, Jaime, what is your personal process for making hosting a reality?
Jaime Farrell: So, again, I think hospitality can be done in many forms, and I just want to make that really clear and address that a little bit. I don't think hospitality is hosting just in your home. I think hospitality is sitting by someone new at church. I think it's meeting someone at the doors of the church if you invite them. It's waving to neighbors and saying hello as you pass. It's inviting someone out for coffee or breakfast. It's asking someone to go to the store with you, it's bringing someone a meal, sending a card. [00:12:15]
At our church, we have a food providers list. These are people who bring someone a meal when they've had a baby or providing food for the funeral or are willing to take food if people are sick. I'm part of that. For example, last week I made a whole bunch of vegetable soup and had noticed that a food provider's email had come through about a church family member but it was for the following week. And I didn't have time the following week, but I had tons of this leftover vegetable soup. So I just texted that family and said, "Can I just bring you some for tomorrow?" So I think that's even hospitality again through these food providers.
An email came through this week about another family who had a new baby. And a couple of weeks ago, an email had come about another family who had a new baby. So I just doubled up and asked that family. So next week I'm going to bring both those families one meal on the same day and kind of knock two birds with one stone.
So again, I think we can practice hospitality in lots of different ways other than just hosting. Actually, I think one of the great ways to practice hospitality is even being needy and asking for help. [00:13:18] We've used the strategy with our neighbors. We ask for help from others whether we can borrow something or if they have just time to help us talk through our landscaping or what they would recommend us do outside.
This all can just start a conversation and pave the way for some real hospitality, for some other hospitality, I should say, hosting in your home. So remember hospitality is really just that friendly, generous, receiving, and enjoying of people, and that just can take so many forms.
So there's ways that we practice hosting in our home. We often have people over for dinner and games. And that can be people from church or from the kids' school or from their sports team. We love playing games with friends, so that's typically part of our evening.
We have couples for premarital counseling, and those sessions always include games and dinner in our home before the counseling. When we have new people from church, we often like to have another family from church with them so that they can get connected to others in our body beyond us. [00:14:21]
So we've hosted Bunco parties in our home. We've hosted hot cocoa bars. We watched sports games, parties. We've done neighbor nights in the backyard for those in our neighborhood. We love being outside. So anytime we can be outside in the backyard. We are at a home where we have a firepit right now. So we use that a ton. We've accumulated a ton of backyard games. Ladder golf, Kan Jam, bocce ball, Spikeball, Bottle Bash and volleyball.
I honestly hate even listing those if I'm honest though, because they are truly just things. And it's not necessary to hosting by any means. But I would just encourage you to... what do you love and how could you share that with people? That is what we have tried to do. We again, as you've heard, love games and so we try to just share that with people. We love food. I love food. So we try to share that with people.
And then if some of those feel barriers because they're expensive or whatever, consider asking those for Christmas gifts or birthday gifts, and that can help up your hospitality game. [00:15:23] Whenever there's like a need for a whole heap of paper plates, you could ask for that for Christmas. Just, Mom, can you give me a whole heap of paper products so that I can host people or a new board game that would work for a crowd of people? You can ask for that for Christmas.
You can get a lot of things that would help with hospitality that don't even include spending a dime or spending very little money. We've gotten a lot of our backyard games through Facebook Marketplace or Goodwill or second-hand stores. So you can get a lot of things new to you. So we do that a lot.
Some specifics of this season of hospitality is that we're trying to embrace saying yes to the last minute. We have two older, nearly teenagers. Jolie will turn 13 in a couple of months. And with those two teenagers, we're finding the social schedule very full and the taxi driving constant.
So sometimes hospitality is best for us right now when it's last minute. So I would encourage you to think about that and consider that. [00:16:22] I always have paper products on hand and those can be easily gotten from the dollar store. But having paper plates, plastic forks, this makes hosting easy for me.
Years ago, I laid down the expectation that I needed to lavish the way my mom has always lavished. Again, she has that beautiful table, real dishes, she does fabric napkins, and so on. I'll just give you a paper plate. And I can't remember the last time I actually even served the food. My mom likes to go around and serve the food, but we just typically do buffet style as that is kind of my jam.
I also always have stuff in my freezer and some staples on hand. I always keep what I need to whip out a pan of Scotcheroos in a moment because those seem to go over well. Like right now, I've got energy balls, puppy chow, caramels, and popsicles loaded in my freezer so that when my kids' friends come over, they've got stuff to eat.
Our garage fridge is filled with drinks so that when the friends come over, they can have those drinks. And we kind of reserve those drinks for just when we have friends over. [00:17:21] I've always got chicken or pulled pork in the freezer that I quickly pull out to make a meal.
And then just lastly, some practical tips for how this looks for maybe you right now. When we were young and in seminary and the budget was crazy tight... Again, our hospitality looks very different now than when it did those years ago. I never had a second garage fridge. I would never have gotten fancy drinks, nothing like that.
So when we were young and the budget was tight, we made a practice of having people over for breakfast after church because eggs, hash browns, and a couple cans of fruit or fresh fruit, if we could afford it, was good enough. And that felt like awesome hospitality. It was fast and simple, and yet was that hospitality.
And then Jonathan was working at Starbucks, and so we got a free pound of coffee every week. And I don't even drink coffee. So the simple practice of just having people over for coffee because we had these freebies, pound of coffee every week that we never could drink ourselves, that came this just practice of having people for coffee as a way of practicing hospitality too. [00:18:27]
The other thing we did when money was tight was we had what we called our pantry people. And these were three other couples that we felt comfortable enough having over and just saying it's pantry night. So that could mean peanut butter and jelly. That could mean leftovers. That could mean a can of tuna. We all just kind of would contribute whatever we had and then we would just play games together. And our pantry people ended up becoming our dearest friends at seminary.
Then one last suggestion would just be popcorn. Popcorn is inexpensive and I have yet to meet someone who doesn't love it.
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Laura Dugger: You've given us ways that are super practical to overcome these excuses of restraints on time or finances. But earlier I remember you also mentioned attitude. So do you ever have a stinky attitude about hosting?
Jaime Farrell: Absolutely. And sadly, often. And here I'm even talking about how much I do love hospitality and how much I think it is important. But truly, I often have a stingy attitude about hosting in hospitality. So typically there is inevitably conflict. Before we host people in our home, either a recipe will fail or the kids will be unhelpful or needy, or I will just be downright selfish and demanding.
So often right before we're about to have people in our home, I am trying to even muster up the desire to do so. So I don't always go into it loving it and thinking, "Wow, I just can't wait for this." Sometimes I'm exhausted and I just want to take off my bra and be in my jammies and not be with people. [00:21:33] But in the end, I'm always glad that they came.
So I remember this was especially true for a small group we were hosting. The routine of hosting every other week felt like such a burden. We had little kids. And in the hours leading up to it, I was always grumpy and just thinking like, "Oh, this is going to be so horrible." But then they would leave and I would always, in bliss, talk with my husband about how life-giving it was to have them over.
So I have to be honest, to overcome this in the moment is hard for me. But without fail, as the nights wrap up and we've hosted, I'm always thankful and filled and grateful for the time. So overcoming sin for me often looks like having to go back and apologize and ask forgiveness for my family and from my Lord for that attitude that I had before we practiced hospitality.
Laura Dugger: It reminds me of something that Mark always says. Like he will say, I've learned you just can never outlive God. [00:22:34] So you offer Him your little loaves and fish. And even if you're coming with the stinky attitude and offering it to Him, He does and He blesses you with the joy. That's awesome to hear. I just love to hear more about your inner thoughts of this process, too. So when you personally host someone, do you have a desire or expectation for them to return the favor?
Jaime Farrell: So I've had super long answers on all your questions before. But this one I can say is short and sweet. Honestly, praise God He's given victory in this area for me. I, back in college, read a book, When People Are Big and God is Small by Edward Welch. Changing my doing from people-pleasing to God-glorifying really was a shift for me. From that shift, I have never looked back. So, no, I do not have that expectation on people because when I'm practicing hospitality, I'm doing it, Lord willing, and with His help for it to be God-glorifying, not people pleasing. [00:23:41]
Laura Dugger: I remember after we had Kessler and you showed up with this feast that was for an army. And it was homemade and so delicious and so generous. And not only that, but I remember you arriving with your kids, delivering trays of food alongside you, and you were beaming your beautiful smile and you said, "It has been such a joy for us to spend this day cooking for you and praying over you as I envision your transition to becoming a family of six."
I was so stunned and obviously emotional to receive love after welcoming our precious newborn to the family. But that really left an impression on me and it was so compelling to make me want to love others well after being so loved by you. I share all of that just to illustrate your generosity. And then I'd love to learn from you, how can all of us begin to grow in generosity, too? [00:24:45]
Jaime Farrell: So I would simply say to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. I truly think that the more we realize how He has lavished on us, the more we'll want to do the same. 2 Corinthians 8 and 9, are beautiful chapters all about generosity. And they start with the grace of God and they end with the grace of God.
And the very last verse is saying, "Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift." I think if we are understanding the depth of His gifts to us, the way He sent His Son, we will want to pour that out to others in the way that it's been poured into us.
Laura Dugger: I love how you lay that out. And you are just such a natural teacher because it's not like you're saying we're striving to earn His approval or love. It is clearly what you said. It's the opposite. It's fueled by grace. And then it's this overflow or this outpouring that come because of Him. [00:25:48]
But truly, I do think you spent a good amount of money when you brought us the meal. And I know that we're not the only recipients of you meeting people's needs through nourishing them with delicious food. So how do you resist counting the cost involved in hosting others?
Jaime Farrell: So again, going back to the root of it, because Jesus asks us to count the cost of discipleship when He invites us to follow Him, He outweighs every cost there possibly could be. So I would rather follow Him in obedience than count the cost here on earth and disobey. So that is at the root of it.
But then practically, I am a massive fan of Aldi and I am not afraid to get the deals. So find ways to do things inexpensively and remember that hospitality can simply be opening our mouths and saying hello, and that causes zero dollars, or opening your door and inviting someone in, and that costs zero dollars. [00:26:52]
I've already mentioned breakfast is cheap and simply serving a cup of hot water as I love or coffee to someone or even just inviting someone over for dessert rather than a full meal. These are ways that you can be a little bit inexpensive and still practice that hospitality.
Laura Dugger: And when we think of this generational impact, how did your heritage play a part in influencing your current behavior toward hospitality, and how do you see it influencing the next generation that you're raising right now?
Jaime Farrell: So, again, I would point to my mom, who I would say for years modeled hospitality to me. But I also just want to mention my mother-in-law here, who similarly has the gift of hospitality but practices that different than my mom. I've watched my mother-in-law, as example, and I've seen the beauty of it as well. It too has impacted me.
My mother-in-law is a simple, not fancy woman. [00:27:54] She is a frequenter of the dollar store and one who will reuse plastic bags and plastic forks and things like that. She has a small home, and yet she hosts Christmas and Thanksgiving and consistently invites others beyond family into those moments.
And that means that people are often eating on laps in the living room or with the TV tray pulled up. And yet she welcomes all. Drinks aren't nearly as important as food to me. I love to eat and I value good food, but drinks are more important to her. She asks what we want to drink from the first moment we walk in the door and then we'll repeat it several times, almost to an annoying point for me. But truly, it's really just her serving again and again and again. And I've learned from her that simple is beautiful, that service is lavishing. And I've been grateful for her example.
And then, yes, I've got four kids, and we are praying that we see the fruit of hospitality in their lives. [00:28:55] And again, at the root, if we believe hospitality extends from us grasping how much the Lord has been hospitable to us, then we are absolutely wanting to see hospitality in our kids.
Thankfully, they have these grandmas that they can watch, which is awesome. But we see them love to have people over and desire to be gatherers as well. So that just warms our hearts when we see them jump into hospitality too.
Our older two, especially who I would have to say have social lives now as a junior high and high school student, they are gatherers and we just love watching it.
Laura Dugger: Have you checked out our library of articles available at thesavvysauce.com? New posts are added multiple times a month related to parenting, intimacy, and marriage, personal development, habits, and other topics connected to what we discuss here on The Savvy Sauce. If you sign up to join our email list, you're also going to enjoy little extras delivered straight to your inbox. [00:29:55]
Our hope is to encourage you to have your own practical chats for intentional living. So these freebies will include things like questions that you can ask on your next date, safe resources to read, to promote enjoyment in your intimacy and marriage, or questions to ask your kids to connect on a more relational level. We hope you check out all the available reads at thesavvysauce.com under the "articles" tab.
Laura Dugger: Let's get even more specific. How do you actually involve your kids in that process?
Jaime Farrell: So when they were younger and we were really in the training phase of parenting, we did five Ss. Stand, See, Smile, Shake, Say for when people come up to them. Now, not always do these apply in every situation. But we've tried to teach them to be warm to people whenever people are talking to them.
Now, I'll honestly say that I feel like we've been more disciplined about this for our girls and we are still in the training phase for our son. [00:30:59] But teaching kids from a young age how to interact with others is so important. That is absolutely something that needs to be trained. You can't just hope that they learn it.
So we believe it's important to train them in this big picture value of the dignity of people. So we consistently talk with our kids about them being image bearers and about all people being image bearers. And I think that sets in their minds from these little ages that people are important and we should care about them. So intentionally teaching the value of others before ourselves gives a big-picture view of why hospitality is important. And then we can work on the practical parts of how to practice it.
They are also part of the cooking, the cleaning, the bringing, and the praying. We look to have them serve as well. So they help me prepare the house, set the table, and make the food. We just did this on Sunday. We hosted a family and they were coming over at 5:45 and I knew that we could start at 4:30 because I've got my team around me. [00:32:03]
So we're still able to take Sunday afternoon naps because then the team comes into play at 4:30. And they all just knew that we set that expectation and they all helped serve. If we're bringing a meal to someone, I rarely bring it alone. A kid almost always comes with me. And then we are praying for that family as we drive to and from.
For premarital counseling, we have a couple over to our home at least 4 to 5 times pre-marriage, then twice post-marriage, and our kids are always part of that. We have that couple for dinner and then we play games all together as a family and then we send the kids off to bed while we talk. And the olders just know to be responsible for getting the youngsters to bed on those nights.
One other thing that comes to mind is that at this stage we've really tried to just open our schedule to our kids and their friends. We want our house to be a place where kids enjoy coming and that they know they can come. We're always willing to have extras over for dinner, so my kids just know it's okay to invite anyone over. [00:33:04]
We have a policy with our kids that they can invite anyone to church and can say that we will always pick them up and bring them home. At one point, we were picking up five of Julie's friends for Wednesday evenings and bringing them all home. And typically we need both Jonathan and I to drive our kids to and from on Wednesdays so that we can fit all the kids in our car. And while this is helping them with their social time, we actually see it as them practicing hospitality. And we talk in those terms with our kids.
For Halloween this year, we hosted ten of Jorja's friends, eight of Jolie's friends. Jorja's friend stayed at the house all night long. Jolie's friends did some trick or treating still, but I just made a big batch of chili, a whole bunch of puppy chow, we had a caramel apple bar and plenty of hot cocoa, and then we did pumpkin carving contests with the whole entire game. So just being willing to have our home open for friends influences our kids in their learning hospitality.
Laura Dugger: I love the creativity. And it sounds like you can even get input from every family member to see what works for them. [00:34:07]
Jaime Farrell: Definitely.
Laura Dugger: And referring back to what you said, hospitality is opening our mouth, it's opening our car door and inviting people Wednesday nights, which we love Wednesday nights at church. But also, Jaime, how have you seen hospitality impact your family and your church, and even our community?
Jaime Farrell: So I read a book and I would recommend it, The Gospel Comes With A House Key. There are some challenges in that book that make it fully relatable. But again, overall, the content is incredible. I've heard of many testimonies where people have embraced the gospel because of hospitality, and that's what that book is about.
And I think this is what we need to see hospitality as doing—that it's kingdom building. And whether that's building the kingdom with new believers or building the kingdom by strengthening the believers, we need to see the internal perspective of what hospitality can be. Hospitality echoes into eternity, and that's vital to grasp. [00:35:06] So having that perspective, that's how it impacts our family, our church, and our community. That hospitality can be a mode of evangelism and kingdom building.
Laura Dugger: So true. Do you have any favorite memories or little extras that you recommend that you think are worthwhile to share?
Jaime Farrell: Yeah. I couldn't do hospitality without my double oven these days. That was a Christmas gift that I asked for and has been so awesome. So that's a little extra for our house that I've been super grateful for.
I love keeping containers for bringing food to others so that then I don't have to ask for them in return. So, keeping any of those, even, you know, cottage cheese or dip. My grandpa buys a lot of ham in those prepackaged Tupperware, and he will give them to me because he knows I use them to send out to other people for food. So keeping containers like that. [00:36:06]
Getting a list from your church of widowers, widows, single moms who would appreciate leftovers, I think, is such a great way to practice hospitality. We've done this. And just knowing who we can send our leftovers to. As you said, I love to cook for an army and I don't know how to cook for small portions. So being able to give away those extras are always so fun.
We've used neighbor apps to get to know our neighbors. And that's just a thread that you can get or even just even a text thread where you have all your neighbors on one text thread that you can say, "Does anybody have a cup of sugar or would anybody want to come over tonight for popcorn?" That's something else that we've done.
We've also created neighborhood maps where we'll either have their names up there and have specific prayer requests because we've asked them or just mapping out the neighborhoods so that you can think in terms of that God has placed me specifically in this neighborhood and I can practice hospitality with these neighbors around me. [00:37:08] Again, thinking that hospitality could be evangelism as well.
And then Bunco Nights. We have loved doing bunco nights where we can gather a whole heap of people together and play a game and talk together. That is awesome. And I could talk on and on about games that we enjoy as a family. But right now, some favorites are Fill or Bust, Escape, Wits and Wagers Family, Double Ditto, Code Names, and Take 5!. So you can check out any of those and get some games for hospitality.
Laura Dugger: You remind me of something I learned long ago, that ministering actually means meeting the needs of others.
Jaime Farrell: I love that.
Laura Dugger: I mean, we have a need to eat every day. And so we have all these opportunities to minister to others. You know I love practical things. So even for ministering to others by meeting their need for nutrition, what are some of your go-to recipes that we could maybe link to these in our show notes for today? [00:38:11]
Jaime Farrell: I love checking out Brown Eyed Baker and Sally's Baking Addiction. And you see my bent here that I love sweets. But those two websites, any recipe I've tried from there has always been a hit. So I would encourage those.
We're also really big fans of grilling and so that can simply be just hotdogs and brats in the backyard. That's typically our bent on summers. I have a pork roast recipe that is super easy but feels fancy. So when I want to try to be fancy, I pull that one out. I have a Mexican Pulled Pork Taco recipe that we enjoy, that, again, feels a little bit different than tacos, but is in the same vein, inexpensive, easy to throw together, easy for people to kind of pick their own toppings if you have picky eaters.
There's this recipe online—you can totally look it up—Man-Pleasing Chicken. Again, super easy, very doable. We make homemade hot cocoa. And that is something that just... it makes a big batch and we have it for all season long. [00:39:15] And just inviting people in for hot cocoa always seems to be a good thing.
Scotcheroos. Man, you can never fail with a good pan of Scotcheroos. Then there's my go-to recipe for a cake, that, again, is super easy. Hannah's [unintelligible 00:39:29] cake. I always just keep those things on hand. So for Scotcheroos, Hannah's [Husband?] Cake, I just have those and s'mores. We have a fire pit in our backyard right now, so having stuff on hand for s'mores so that it can be quick and easy. I keep popcorn in my freezer so that I can pull it out at any time.
And then with teenagers, I'm finding that if I go to Aldi, I just try to grab a bag of chips or a box of Cheez-Its or some type of snack crackers so that when kids are over, I can throw that at them. And a few times throughout the year I'll make a massive batch of snack mixes. I have a tendency to set aside days of, okay, I'm going to make party mix or I'm going to make this honey mix and I'll make a whole, whole heap.
I've already talked about homemade puppy chow for Halloween. [00:40:15] I made probably ten times the recipe and stuck to Tupperware fulls in our freezer so that I can just quickly pull that out. So that's what we have a tendency to do.
Laura Dugger: And even mentioning your s'mores, it reminded me you upped our s'mores game when you came over one night because you put a Reese's in these-
Jaime Farrell: Reese's in s'mores is so, so good. So good.
Laura Dugger: S'mores have never been the same in my house. So thank you for that. Is there just one step that we can take today if we want to begin practicing hospitality in our own lives?
Jaime Farrell: Pray. Ask the Lord where He would have you practice hospitality. That is always the best place to start. That may be in your church. That may be in your neighborhood. That may be in your home. But I really believe that the spirit will guide and direct you in hospitality if it's a desire of your heart. So just asking Him where He wants you to practice hospitality. [00:41:15] And then being willing to say yes. Again, going back instead of your first thought being, No, I can't do that, allow yourself to consider a yes. The spirit will show you and He will equip you.
Laura Dugger: Such a good word. Jaime, like I said, you are a natural teacher. I think God has clearly given you teaching as one of your spiritual gifts. So if we want to learn more from you, where can we find you? Is there any place that you would direct us, even online, to go?
Jaime Farrell: So I'm not the best for social media. You know, I'm not on it tons. But I do have a profile on Facebook, JonathanandJaimeFarrell, or Instagram, [unintelligible 00:41:52]. And anyone is welcome to reach out there if you want.
And then if people are local, we live in Morton, Illinois. We'd love to invite you to our church and my family would love to meet you at the door and sit with you. So if you reach out on Facebook or Instagram, we'd love to meet you at the door. Service is 9 a.m. and Sunday School is 10:30. So then also, if you're local, you can check our church out on gracemorton.org. [00:42:16]
Laura Dugger: Wonderful. We're going to add all kinds of links in today's show notes, not only for the recipes, but also where people could find or follow you. Jaime, you know that we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge or discernment. So as my final question for you today, what is your savvy source?
Jaime Farrell: So my savvy sauce is what my dad said to me and my siblings every time we walked out the door. Remember who you are and whose you are. I believe this relates to everything in life and godliness. But even in hospitality, if we remember who we are, that we are image bearers made to reflect our God and demonstrate the gospel and therefore are called to practice hospitality. And if we remember whose we are, that He alone is our audience, and that He has equipped us, we can do this thing called hospitality. So I remember who you are and whose you are.
Laura Dugger: We love it. Not only has this time been such a gift, but your friendship is such a gift. [00:43:18] I am sharpened every time we're together and your joy in the Lord just exudes and overflows. So thank you for modeling this. We have been recipients so many times of your generous hospitality, and it's so inspirational and it's contagious and it spreads and encourages others. So thank you for being my friend and thank you for being my guest today.
Jaime Farrell: Same. Such a joy. I love you.
Laura Dugger: I love you, too.
One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners and God is perfect and holy, so He cannot be in the presence of sin. Therefore, we're separated from Him.
This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. [00:44:19] But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute.
This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus.
We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
So would you pray with me now? Heavenly, Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. [00:45:19] Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change their lives now for eternity. In Jesus name, we pray, amen.
If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him, you get the opportunity to live your life for Him.
At this podcast, we are called Savvy for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you're ready to get started?
First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision my parents took me to Barnes and Noble to get the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. Start by reading the book of John.
Get connected locally, which basically means just tell someone who is part of the church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you. [00:46:21]
We want to celebrate with you too. So feel free to leave a comment for us if you made a decision for Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process.
Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.
If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.
Welcome to The Savvy Sauce
Practical chats for intentional living
A faith-based podcast and resources to help you grow closer to Jesus and others. Expect encouragement, surprises, and hope here. Each episode offers lively interviews with fascinating guests such as therapists, authors, non-profit founders, and business leaders.
They share their best practices and savvy tips we can replicate to make our daily life and relationships more enjoyable!
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