Our Love Story, Part Three
I guess you’ve picked up since last time (Our Love Story, Part Two) that I said yes to that first date.
I had mixed emotions. First I was completely caught off guard that someone as amazing as Mark Dugger had interest in me. It also felt more significant than just saying yes to an evening together. Mark was my best guy friend, so I had conflicted emotions, excitement and fear. What if something didn’t work out? What if it would ruin our friendship? I certainly didn’t want to lose him!
I called my mom to process the situation. Through tears, I told her my favorite guy friend had asked me out and I was fearful it would ruin our friendship. She gently reminded me, “Do you remember your prayer from long ago?”(I mentioned in Our Love Story, Part One) (Cite chapter of My Story for book) “You prayed to be best friends with your husband first, that he would ask you out before you were ready, and everyone would think it was too soon for you to get married.”
How had I forgotten that?! This was uncanny how well it described our situation . . . at least the first part so far. Goodness, aren’t moms the best?! I think mine is 🙂
The earliest evening Mark and I could sync up our schedules was an upcoming Sunday night. He asked if I would like to attend the Sunday evening church service with him and then go out for dinner.
We had been fast-track friends for so long that date one felt like date #20. However, it was a little intimidating when we got in his car because doing so meant we were both admitting we wanted to be intentionally hanging out, just the two of us, with shared interest in one another. It felt a little pressure filled. Mark is known for his humor and I’m so grateful he instantly relaxed the atmosphere by making me laugh. He had spent the day with his family: his parents, older brothers, and their families. His parents had been discussing what to do with their second home and Mark shared how he had piped in, “Let me talk it over with Laura first before you make a decision.”
We quickly settled into easy conversation and enjoyed worshiping side-by-side at church. He had researched and made reservations at a charming southern restaurant in Virginia Highlands, called Agnus & Murials. We were having so much fun we continued the date with a walk around the neighborhood and he offered to also get gelato. We sat on a bench, enjoying our dessert and conversation, and the entire evening could not have gone any better. After he walked me back to my apartment, he smiled and said, “This was great! When can we do it again?”
I hesitated. My response was “This has potential . . . I’m just not there yet.” What was my problem?! The evening was perfect and I’m cringing as I recall this. But here’s what was going on internally: This is my favorite guy friend! That felt so comfortable and easy . . . it truly was like date #20. I’ve enjoyed this phase of life so much, but this means it will be over forever because if we go on another date, we will definitely get married.
I couldn’t imagine anyone better, but I still recognized this meant the end of my favorite season of life, up to this point. I recently came across Scripture that perfectly describes this situation, as I had turned a good thing (singlehood) into a god-thing (idol of staying comfortable rather than moving forward in faith with what God set before me).
“Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.” Jonah 2:8
Praise God He released my grip from the worthless idol. At the time it felt like a risk, but it turned out to be a great reward.
I didn’t connect it in the moment that I was living through part two of my prayer: That he would ask me before I was ready. As 1 Corinthians 13:12 (KJV) points out, “we see through a glass, darkly” but for now we only “know in part.” I believe God gave me a quiet glimpse of the way things would happen. It wasn’t so much a prayer I was asking from the Lord, but more so an obedient response to pray what the Holy Spirit was revealing was yet to come, just like He says He will do in John 16: 12-15.
I was literally sick to my stomach for the next two weeks. I lacked peace as I unknowingly wrestled with the Lord. Each time I considered going on a second date, I felt peaceful. And every time I resisted, I was physically nauseated.
During this time, Mark was relentless in his pursuit like it was an art. He was gentle and patient, yet resolved and resolute! He knew how great this could be and he wasn’t giving up! We still connected through GChat and he would flirt and let me know he was ready for me when I was ready to go out again with him. We did try to take a little time apart from hanging out to pray and evaluate, but the connection between us was magnetic and we didn’t want to be apart for too long. He asked me to be his tennis partner one afternoon when friends were gathering at an outdoor park with courts.
Mark’s combination of humble patience, yet steady pursuit was a perfect gift. And once again, I remembered:
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17 (NIV)
In between our matches, I finally surrendered to God and confessed to Mark on a swing set that I was ready for our second date.
It was about to get really good . . .
I’ll pick it up here, next time!
Grateful for you,
Laura
About The Savvy Sauce
Practical chats for intentional living
A faith-based podcast and resources to help you grow closer to Jesus and others. Expect encouragement, surprises, and hope here. Each episode offers lively interviews with fascinating guests such as therapists, authors, non-profit founders, and business leaders.
They share their best practices and savvy tips we can replicate to make our daily life and relationships more enjoyable!
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