Additional Idea For Date Night
“This is my beloved and this is my friend” Song of Solomon 5:16, AMP
This is my favorite Scripture to describe marriage! What’s yours?
You know I’m a fan of date night . . . Mark and I began dating about 17.5 years ago and we haven’t stopped. It’s been one of the best decisions for our relationship. It is a financial and time investment, but the ROI is indescribable.
Date night is one of the top ways that we remember the truth about our spouse, as we read in Song of Solomon, 5:16, “This is my beloved and this is my friend.”
If you value intentional date nights as well, and you want questions to add to your next date night, make sure you check out these previously posted articles: 15 Questions to Ask on Your Next Date Night, Ten Date Night Questions, and Date Night Refresh: One Idea and Five Q’s . Hopefully these add a little spice or interest to your regular conversations.
Here’s another idea for growing in your love and friendship: grow in your intellectual intimacy. Allow me to explain. You know how we have quarterly meetings where we discuss holistic parts of our relationship, such as finances, community, physical health goals, work endeavors, etc . . .? One of the other aspects is setting goals for intellectual development. It’s exciting to bring each of these elements into date night conversation, rather than just saving them for our lengthier meetings every 90 days. Today I want to focus on intellectual development and how to incorporate it into date night conversation.
Recently, in addition to coming prepared with a question for date night, we decided to also come ready to share about one new thing we’ve learned that week. In this way, we add only a couple minutes of thoughtfulness in the days leading up to date night and then we get to reap benefits by learning what our spouse is learning, and enjoying getting to know them a little bit better, one degree at a time.
I have a couple places to keep these ideas. First, I have a commonplace journal that I use during coffee and quiet time in the morning. It is the place to put pencil to paper and capture fleeting lessons or ideas I captured from podcasts on my morning walk or learnings from Scripture. For ideas or questions that come to mind while I’m on the go, I keep an ongoing list on my phone so that I can jot down a quick idea throughout the week when it comes to mind.
For intellectual ideas, it’s simply sharing anything new you’re learning. Examples may be your favorite take-away from a book or a podcast. It’s kind of fun when the information is totally random or when it applies to your unique situation as a couple. For example, we had a first in parenting this week. One daughter had her first-ever round of stitches taken out about a month ago, only to break her fall at the exact same place and split her stitches open again. I thought they had healed so well and I was discouraged when they opened back up so easily. I reached out to my sister who is a former wound care nurse, now sound engineer of The Savvy Sauce podcast, and I asked her for more information. She shared that scars are only 80% as strong as our skin, so it’s not surprising to have stitches reopen. I have no medical background, so I found that to be interesting! It also led me to worship God for being such a masterful Creator who made our skin so strong! It’s just a silly little piece of information, but I like to share those details with Mark because then we are sharing the same thoughts and growing closer in intimacy. We’re growing closer as one any time we share something, so it’s worthwhile to share tidbits of intellectual information.
Growing in any form of intimacy grows our relationship overall, and intellectual intimacy is no different. For more ideas on various pillars of intimacy, make sure you listen to Tony & Alisa DiLorenzo’s episode, 190 Sex Series: Six Pillars of Intimacy.
I hope you will let me know what you’re learning lately and what you learn from your spouse on your next date night!
Happy Dating!
Laura
Helpful Resources for Christians
Help further The Savvy Sauce Mission by Donating or Sponsoring
221. Healthy Attachment in Marriage and Parenting with Jason VanRuler
224. Surprising Discoveries of Sex in Marriage: An Interview with Shaunti Feldhahn
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