Joy is experienced in the presence of others. Joy is experienced in God’s presence . . .
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:11, ESV)
It is exhilarating to recognize that we have the Holy Spirit indwelling us as believers. Without exception, He is readily available and accessible to us because His home is within us. I treasure the moments spent reading my Bible before our home wakes up and activity begins buzzing for the next 12+ hours. Can you relate?
But God is accessible in the active hours too, not just in the quiet moments.
It is my greatest comfort to know I can converse and commune with God at any time. He is so relational and I am in awe that He designed us not only for relationship with Him, but also for relationship with one another. (See Genesis 2:18)
My mom is incredibly intuitive. She could tell from a young age that being with people sparked joy in my life. As the youngest child, I was born just weeks before my siblings went to school, so interactions with siblings were not present until 3 pm. With this wisdom, my mom made it a priority to frequently include peer interactions for both she and I during the day.
As a junior high student, I remember purchasing my first planner. It was not to keep homework assignments or game schedules straight (though it helped), but the main purpose was to put social plans on the calendar and delightfully anticipate time with friends!
Over two decades later, I still do this same practice.
Ken Baugh writes, in his book Unhindered Abundance, “Neurons are birthed by thoughts. The more you think about something the more neurons are developed around that thought and the stronger and more influential that thought becomes.”
(Can you keep a secret? We get to chat with Ken further about this topic later this summer on The Savvy Sauce Podcast!)
I think about relationships a lot. If I could see a scan of my brain, I bet a large portion would be devoted to thoughts regarding relationships: Has our family had enough time together lately? Have we been enjoying one-on-one time with each other? Who else we can invite over on a weekend? Who would our girls enjoy hosting for a play date? How can we create more opportunities to connect with people? How can we creatively connect others to each other? Who can we celebrate? Who needs some encouragement? How can we arrange extended time together with loved ones? Who do we want to spend more time with? This is a small sample of where many of my thoughts are devoted and it always thrills me to read:
As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight. (Psalm 16:3, ESV)
One solution answers many of the aforementioned questions at once:
family sleepovers!
When I reflect back on my childhood, some of the most memorable weekends included our parents taking our family out of town to stay with friends. As multiple families were all under the same roof, we enjoyed fellowship with another family and interacted with people of all ages. It was safe and wholesome fun and it was enjoyable from toddlerhood past teenage years. I imagine it was not easy for our parents to pack us all up, sacrifice sleep, and drive us hours away, but it was so worth it!
Mark and I have carried on this tradition with our own children. Prior to having kids, I was used to many decades of daily connecting with peers and enjoying an abundance of long conversations and shared experiences with many people. That lifestyle took a 180 degree turn when I became a mom.
Even more than the sleep deprivation, this social shift was my most difficult transition into motherhood.
Mark and I are both extroverts and I can see that same preference in most of our children as well. We all seem to enjoy time spent with friends and we want our children to be comfortable interacting with people of all ages. (If this makes you curious to know about you and your children, check out this Myers-Briggs episode to understand and improve your relationships).
Because we moved around the United States so many times before starting a family, we now have cherished friendships with people in various other states. This provides the perfect opportunity to travel with our children and introduce them to special people who have impacted us in various stages of adulthood. It is so fun to share these people with our children and our children with them.
This doesn’t have to be limited to out-of-town friends. Stay-cations make for sweet memories with local friends!
A side-benefit of family sleepovers is the money saved on travel expenses, but if it is within your budget, it’s just as fun to go to a hotel and get rooms on the same floor.
And if space in your homes is too limited, you could always rent an Airbnb together that accommodates multiple families.
Another way to enjoy extended days together on a budget is through camping. There is something refreshing about being outdoors, disconnected from technology, and being captivated by the fire at night, while soaking up conversation.
This option provides a safe way to break from our ordinary routine, spice up our lives with variety, and learn a ton throughout the process. Have you tried this?! What are your take-aways?
Here are some benefits:
The kids get out of their comfort zone and learn to interact with other children. They are exposed to routines or foods that are likely out of their day-to-day routine. Parents get to sharpen each other through humbly learning parenting styles or picking up wise tips from one another. The host family gets to model hospitality and allow their children to participate. It is great training in selflessness as the host family cleans together, prepares food, shares their space, and thoughtfully considers how to make their guests feel comfortable. The adults have the opportunity to enjoy lingering conversation after the kids go to bed. Many hands make the work light, so a few adults can watch the kids while the other adults prepare meals or clean up. Isn’t it always more enjoyable to do either of these tasks with a friend? Character is formed by the people we spend time with, so this is a great time for character development to happen naturally as we all enjoy extra togetherness.
The memories made and the bonds formed are the most valuable benefits.
If you want to give this a try, here are 4 practical tips we have gathered from friends:
Ruthie Braun created a welcome basket for us, including items such as snacks, chapstick, and a hand-written, welcoming letter. We showed up with a hostess gift and we were floored when she had been so considerate to bless us with an unexpected gift as her guests. She inspired us to plan in advance when friends are coming to stay at our home so we could apply this idea too.
When we hosted Heather Strycker and her family, she brought a hostess gift that included a small gift for our daughters! Our girls were thrilled to be considered as she honored them for their hospitality with her thoughtful gift.
As we left their house, Allison Miller packed us up with a goodie bag for our travels home, which included snacks for kids and adults alike. Her generosity amazed me and she spared no expense, including the finest options. We were introduced to some new ideas for food and now, every time we eat a Perfect Bar, we think of the Miller family 🙂
Betsy Zimmerman once packed us a road trip goodie bag where she wrapped various presents such as candy, salty treats, and car games. Each present was labeled with a different challenge, such as “open after you pass 20 yellow cars” or “open after you cross a state line.” This remains my favorite road trip idea! You can surprise your friends with the goodie bag as they embark on their drive home. In this way, you are still connected through the experience and your memories created together continue even after you are apart.
So many wonderful character traits can be organically instilled through family sleepovers. They encourage flexibility, and foster thoughtfulness, generosity, and ultimately, love.
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:24-25, NIV)
What is something memorable a host did for you? Will you share the inspiration here for us all to learn from?!
Hearing one another’s examples leads us to ask: what is something I can do to welcome someone today? You don’t have to travel to make this a reality. You can do this with friends in your hometown! Whether you are gathering outdoors or smushing into your own house . . . the creative options are endless.
However you gather, it’s sure to be a delightfully memorable adventure!
Joy to you,
Laura
P.S. Do you want to learn from others who prioritize relationships well and use creative ways to connect? Make sure you listen to these episodes:
Relationships and Opportunities that Arise from Using Your Gifts with Sarah Harmeyer
The Art of Friendship with Kim Wier
Rhythms of Renewal with Gabe and Rebekah Lyons
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