Gratitude in Parenting (*Bonus: Giveaway*)

“Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox.” Proverbs 14:4 (ESV)

I was driving with my girls the other day and I didn’t even realize the negative thoughts taking up space in my brain. It had been a challenging parenting morning and I was feeling defeated. 

Slugs and Bugs, Volume 4 was playing throughout our van, and suddenly I was struck by these words:

“Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean,”

A bunch of realizations flooded my mind at once: There will be a day when our home is more in order, when I will have more time to finish a complete thought, and I will experience fewer interruptions . . . but that also means it will be a day when little children are no longer present in our home. 

Trade-offs. I don’t love them, I resist them. I know it’s childish, but I want it all! I want to have oxen and a clean manger at the same time and sometimes that actually happens, but that is not always sustainable. 

Trade-offs are not bad, especially when we focus on gratitude. Focusing on what we have rather than focusing on what we lack leads to a more fulfilling life.

It reminds me of a message I came across recently that said “choose your hard.” It is such a true observation. Hurting is hard and healing is hard. Selflessness is hard and selfishness is hard. Choosing a healthy lifestyle is hard and becoming unhealthy is hard. Most of the time, we get to choose our hard! 

I want to choose wisely, and I know you do too. So even though it does not come naturally and it may feel hard, gratitude is worth choosing!

Wouldn’t our Enemy love for us to be so distracted and simultaneously fixated on all the negative parts of our season right now? Wouldn’t he love to ensure our minds are preoccupied with how sleepy we are, how much of our to-do list isn’t getting done, or how little help we are receiving?

Do you hear the focus on the lack rather than on the abundance? 

On the van ride that morning, those nine words from Scripture inspired a renewed thought process, built upon the reality that there is always a trade off. Yes, our floors have crumbs right now because we were given four delightful daughters who we get to enjoy meals with around the table! Yes, all the rooms in our home are not in order because we instead chose to spend our time swimming with friends this week. Yes, I haven’t devoted the time I would like to decorate our home because we spend weekends welcoming people over for dinner. And I would choose to make the same decisions all over again!

Gratitude begets gratitude.

My new thought process continued on, now without even requiring effort: Thank you, God, that You created me in such a way that I bore children from my body, which You gave me. Thank You for allowing me to carry four lives in my womb! How many of my friends have longed for children and I’m grumbling in the midst of being given grace upon grace? Thank You for a husband who is the best leader and humble teammate whom I enjoy SO much and we get to parent together. How many single parents are out there who do not get breaks and have it much harder than I do? Thank You, God, that I get to be the mother of four precious daughters. I adore them so much and they are image bearers of You. Thank You that I get to keep a home and serve nourishing meals, and nurture little lives, and enjoy vibrant relationships, not only with the people in my life, but also with You! 

Thank You, God. I am humbled.

And then there is the second part of the verse to address:

“but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox.” 

If the first step is to raise our gaze beyond what is lacking in our season, the conclusion of the verse now calls my attention to what is wonderful and possible and available in this season, specifically because we have children at home!

God was about to surprise me with an abundant crop . . .

After the song ended, we piled out of the van and walked up to the park. With a renewed spirit, I felt more peaceful and empowered with God’s strength for whatever was before me. And then God did what God so often does: He blessed me beyond measure. Through a 5-year old girl’s introduction, I met a new friend! 

I consider new friends to be one of the greatest gifts in life!

Gratitude changes what our eyes see. It changes our narrative. It brightens our outlook. God’s gift in that moment was to connect me with a friend who also has four kids, has faith in Jesus, and has a desire to invest in friendship. 

Had it not been for our children, we would not have connected at the park that morning! 

Sure, I chose to leave our home office a complete disaster that day, but meeting my new friend would not have happened if I did not have children at home. 

“Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox.” Proverbs 14:4 

That verse continued playing on repeat in my mind throughout the day and here is my final mental take-away. I hope it serves as an encouraging reminder for you today too, my friend!

It takes mental awareness and a little bit more effort to resist my brain’s natural tendency to notice the negative, but mindfully choosing to instead hone in on the positive is right in line with Scripture. (See Isaiah 26:3,  Hebrews 12:2, and Philippians 4:8)

As you know, Scripture doesn’t return void, so if you want to ensure more ways to absorb God’s Truth through your ears and eyes and eventually allow it to sink into your heart, make sure you read Four Ways to Keep Scripture Top of Mind. For quick ideas of ways to share this with your children, check out Favorite Easter Activity with Kids and One Simple Way to Disciple Our Children. 

And if you need inspiration through stories of Christ-followers who have chosen gratitude that transcends their circumstances, make sure you listen to:

Being on Both Sides of Forgiveness 

Clinging to Jesus as I lived Through My Worst Nightmare

Grief and Triumph and God’s Pursuit Though it All 

Joy in the Lord Even Through Tremendous Loss…Twice

Perspective in Parenting in the Midst of Sorrow, Betrayal, and Grief 

Unexpected Grief and What Helped Me Through It Can Help You Too

Supernatural Restoration Story

Incredible Story of Overcoming

Story of Perseverance (Available to paying Patrons only. Join Patreon here)

Finally, we are all about offering you practical ways to equip you to continue living intentionally! We want to offer one of you a free gift: Susan Seay’s Intentional Parent Card Set! 

Enter the giveaway here!

She gives us a glimpse into her card set in her episode on Intentional Questions to Ask Our Children.

I hope to share joy through giving away this awesome resource, and I also pray it sparks gratitude in your own life as you interact with your kids in meaningful ways, through the inspiration of these cards.

To be eligible to win, make sure you are subscribed to our free email list!

Lots of love,

Laura